going form "can't wait to see you again"

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
going form "can't wait to see you again"
14
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 2:55pm

Hi – How is everyone? Well, I have been reading here a few weeks and finally decided to throw this short story out there and see if anyone can help me fix this.
I met a guy – he is very slow at calling. We have been trying to talk for about 6 or 7 weeks – I bet he has called 5 or 6 times in that time and he won’t call at night – he always calls me at work – not my cell phone – at work through my switchboard and I have told him that calling me at work is ok but I would prefer he not go through the switch board for personal calls and also I would prefer to talk to him when I away from work so we can actually talk. In this 6 weeks we have went out 3 times. The last time we went out it was a VERY good date – in fact he called that time – later that evening (it was a lunch date) and said he had a great time and can’t wait to see me again so I called the next day and asked him to come over to let me cook for him – said he already had plans and gave me a back up date and then called on the back up date and said that he had forgotten about plans he had made and then stopped calling – I called him on it and asked what had went wrong – through email – he said he had just gotten busy but still maintaining he had a good time and even giving a time frame he would call again. I emailed and apologized for jumping the gun on him not calling and then asked him to do something that Saturday – he gave me the run around, said he would call Friday and never did. I emailed him again Monday and kept it friendly but basically told I don’t do things this way – if someone says they will call they should. If you ask me the guy acts like he has a girlfriend. He always is giving me the run around and he doesn’t call at night, only calls me at work ect… but how can I either get back to the point where he was saying had the best time and can’t wait to see me again or at least admitting he has another girl so I know that connection we had was not just a figment of my imagination. I know this is crazy – at this point the guy has been a jerk. The last email got no response. But up until that point he was at least calling but it was almost like he did just enough to keep me in the wings. Any point of views on this? I really like this guy. Had a crush on him for 2 years before we went out.
Ok, lots of you going to say – he is not that into you and he is not interested enough – fine I get that – but how do they go from “can’t wait to see you again” to not calling at all in no time flat???




Edited 3/21/2006 3:58 pm ET by lonelyvixen

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
that's what i thought too - i would be good for him - unwind, relax and have fun but he seems to have another agenda. And yes, it is easy for you to say because you are not in my shoes. I really thought there was a connection - something went a stray. I think maybe I pushed too hard when he was needing space and just screwed the whole thing up. Does anyone believe in horoscopes and tarot reading? Well, I do and the tarot cards kept saying something was keeping you and your potential romantic partner apart. Too bad the cards don't say - that something is his girlfriend. LOL. But either ways, where you say he would want something good in his life maybe he takes the opposite side of the coin and thinks I don't want to burden her with my miserable life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005

Well, whatever his reasons, he's not calling you and that says something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
i give people too much credit to a fault - huh? Haven't dated in 8 years - been married - just got through with the divorce. so it is like learning to ride a bike again. but i am quickly realizing that all people aren't as good hearted as myself and that I need to quit taking things so personally. Things like this might not be something I did - it might be something within them but since I tend to look for the good in all people I tend to place the blame on myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005

Just to point out the negative side of tarot readings: Tarot readers ask specific questions and look for the subtle non-verbal cues you are giving off. And whatever card plops up, they interpret to confirm to your cues. Psychics do the exact same thing. If somebody walks in and wants to know if their romance is going to last, they'll ask questions and get a feel for what your looking for in answers as well as watch your body expressions. They are VERY VERY good at observation which is what makes them more believable..."as if they really know you."

I guess believe what you want to believe, but understand that astrology/tarot cards/psychics and the like aren't the end all/be all of how you should direct and confirm things that happen in your life.

You have to consider his behavior and not make excuses for it or explain it away. Behavior tells us way more about people than anything.
I would just let him go. He seems like a flake.

Rubyshoes




Edited 3/22/2006 4:55 pm ET by rubyshoes03

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