going out, spending, being single
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| Sat, 03-29-2008 - 7:56am |
I've been trying to save up more money lately but sometimes I feel like being single and the need to socialize and get out actually gets in the way. Sometimes it would be nice to have a SO around who would just like to cook on a Friday night instead of plopping down $100 to go out in my expensive city and make sure I have a social life. I feel sometimes that as a single person I need to "get out there" and meet people--especially since some of my single friends really want to go out and not be stuck at home either and I'd like to be there for them as well--and if I don't "get out there" I'm only doing myself a disservice.
How do the rest of you out there balance this and being able to take care of your own financial needs (saving up to buy a place, saving for retirement) while not letting yourself sit at home alone all the time? I feel like I'm so past the whole wanting to go out with people every thurs-sat night but I feel like by sitting home too much I'm dooming myself to being alone forever, not just being single, but also losing ties with friends. I have some friends who like to do cheap things, like get coffee or just see a movie instead of a whole pricey night out, but usually that stuff is a lot more solitary. And then there are the friends who like to go to bars in hopes of meeting someone, and in New York, where you can easily spend $15 on a drink other than beer, that gets expensive, and at the age of 32 I'm so not into spending a lot of money on alcohol anymore-- and I don't even like to drink much to begin with. I just feel stuck. I want to see friends and meet guys and yeah, that costs money sometimes, but I don't want to spend every evening like an old woman drinking coffee with a friend at a diner or staying home.

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I'm trying save this month and next to be sure I can afford the house payment I think I can afford, and I'm feeling the crunch as well.
I can pretty much empathize w/you because it can be hard sometimes when you are single and on one budget. Ever since I moved into my own place last August, I'm so anal about budgeting my finances because I'm the only one who pays my rent, utilities, student loan, and my other bills so I have to be really careful. And truth be told, I don't go out all the time. Now the past couple of weekends, I've gone over to my friend's apt and all we really do is just eat dinner and watch a DVD. Her bf will come over and thankfully he's a cool enough guy that he doesn't mind hanging out at home and doesn't mind me being over there. Last night she & I went out to eat at Subway then went to go see Stop Loss (excellent movie btw!) and that was about it. And like you, I don't like spending bookoos money wise on alcohol. I may go out and buy myself a bottle of wine and that be about it. If I go and eat out w/friends & we go to a restaraunt I may order a glass of wine of a cocktail, and that be about it alcohol wise.
I know last night when I came home, I kind of wished I had an SO to come home to. It'd be nice to have someone say, "hey, how did the movie go...." things like that. I get in a funk like that sometimes but I try not let it bother me too much. Which can be easier said than done lol.
You've asked an important question.
I would honor your desires first of all. If you don't want to spend so much on alcohol, I would honor that. Maybe your friends could use a change, too.
I actually
I completely understand. Its the proverbial "rock and hard place" we are between.
Since I bought my townhouse in July 2006, I definitely go out less, but I honestly wouldn't change being a homeowner for the world. It feels good that my money is going toward something and helping to secure my future, even if I can't always go out for fancy dinners and shows.
Since then, I also adopted a dog, so I now go straight home to walk her or play with her rather that going out to happy hours every night. It has saved me money and has made my life more simple and sane.
When I do go out, I often meet friends to have a drink rather than a full dinner, or I see live music that has no cover rather than going to a big, $60 stadium show. I do stay in quite a bit and watch TV or read, but it's ok. I feel like it gives me more balance. I have plenty of quiet time and down time, so I enjoy those nights out even more.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Being single can be costly.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Hi,
I understand what you are going through. I live in New York also and its seems everything is ultra expensive.
I
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