Going with your gut?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Going with your gut?
13
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 10:26am

I wonder about this sometimes. I've always been told to "go with your gut," but I have to say the gut has not always been right.

Anyway, reason I'm thinking about this is because of a posting on a Myspace page. My old BF from a few years ago has a page up and he blogs from time to time. I read it, not because I have any feelings for him but because I'm interested in what's going on with him. That's about it.

He was dating a girl late last year, and HER blog was up as well, so I would read hers too. Long story short, they dated for about three months and he broke it off with her, giving her the very same tired excuses that he gave me (mostly the "busy with work" line). So when I saw THAT posted in her blog - I knew what was up probably before SHE did. (I didn't say anything though - it's none of my business.) And then he broke it off with her and she was devastated.

So a few days ago, she has posted on her blog something about "going with your gut or your head?" (Apparently they "made peace" with one another.) I don't know for certain, but I imagine that he's probably got her as a "friend" while he chases other girls around (which is what he did with me).

Anyway, now I'm seeing this from a detatched view and seeing how ridiculous it looks. He's telling her what she needs to hear, and she's interpreting it the way she needs or wants.

So how reliable is "going with your gut" then anway? Because when I see this - I can see how emotions can lead you astray. Maybe "going with your gut" is not always the smartest way to go?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:42pm

Hi Sheri

I completely agree. I always tell people I know when a person isn't right for me but so far I haven't been able to tell if someone's right b/c I still dont' have anybody. In the past when I started to have some inkling that someone was right, it turned out to be nothing.
I tend to be a little more cautious so I don't automatically assume magic when there's nothing. There was a person I met three years ago who came with so many interesting coincidences that I thought he could be the one. We went out a few times and that was it. Occasionally dreams are good at telling good things that I don't believe will happen to me. That is when I don't try too hard to want that dream. Just relax and let things go. A lot of times my conscious desire is so strong that I mistake it for gut feeling.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:45pm

This is an interesting conundrum, gut or brain.

I say listen to your gut, but allow your brain to intercede. Whenever I have been puzzling about something (OK, a guy), I'll try to think, "If this were my best friend telling me these things about this guy, what would I tell her?"

Unfortunately, wisdom is only something you get through experience, usually painful ones. I read a great line once: "Experience is life handing you a comb after you've lost your hair."

I digress.

I think when you're younger, your "gut" is actually screaming hormones. After you scrape your knee in a few relationships, it's a lot easier to see your own patterns.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 11:33pm
Bingo

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