Good-bye my friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Good-bye my friend
17
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 4:41pm

And that's it. My best friend of 12 years is gone now to a better place. She went quickly, I think because she was so weak. She hadn't eaten or drank any water since Tuesday. She'd gotten so thin.

She slept in our bed between us last night. I woke up at 5 a.m. and took her downstairs to use the litter box. She went a little. And she wandered over to the patio door. So I put on my shorts and we went outside. She laid on her little blanket and we watched the sun come up. She watched the birds. After about an hour we went back inside. She laid back down. Colin and I took turns petting her and talking to her.

We went up to a nearby vet that we had made arrangements with yesterday. On the way, Abby weakly headbutted me one last time. She hadn't done that in a while. They took us right in. Colin and I cried some more and we then let the vet know we were ready.

They put in an IV cath, and I held her while they did the injections. One to put her to sleep and one to stop her heart. She was still purring when they injected her.

I sort of feel really stupid for feeling this way. I know logically she was just a cat. But I loved that cat more than I ever loved anything. There were times in the last 12 years that she was all I had in this world. And she was such a sweet loving little soul. I broke down on the vet table next to her.

Before we left, I held her one last time. I put her down gently on the table and shook her little paw. "It's been nice knowning you."

God I'm going to miss her. I'll never know another cat like that one.

Good-bye Abby. My friend.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 4:57pm
I would feel the exact same way. I'm so sorry for your loss. *tears in eyes*
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 5:18pm
Better friends than people sometimes, been there. I also am sorry. Take care of you.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 5:22pm

Oh, I'm so sorry--reading this brought tears to my eyes, thinking of how painful this must have been for you, and also of the day when I'll have to do the same thing (my kitty is 10 now).

What a lovely, loving tribute you've written to her.

Big hugs,
Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 5:49pm

>What a lovely, loving tribute you've written to her.<

Thank you.

She had mammary cancer, which is *supposed* to be rare in female cats who are spayed before their first heat, but she ended up with it anyway.

She was only diagnosed in May, I think it was. But it moves quickly, apparently. We could have tried to operate but I said no. She's also diabetic and would have to endure several operations, and diabetics have trouble healing. So her little life would be nothing but operations and pain. I couldn't do that to her. She wouldn't understand.

And I was really sick last weekend with food poisoning. She still felt well enough to sit with me the whole time. She didn't go downhill until Wednesday morning.

I could have maybe waited to see what happened. But I was watching her get thinner and thinner. She wouldn't eat or drink. And she had trouble walking. Her breathing was irregular and shallow. My heart broke every time I looked at her.

And I'm still sitting here crying because I didn't want her to suffer and I know it was the right thing. But it's still hard to know that she's not here anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 6:08pm
You did the right thing and you loved her her whole life. That's all they want from us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2006
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 2:27am

What a beautiful eulogy. And painful. My heart goes out to you.

Please don't feel stupid for feeling as you do. You gave and received unconditional love and that's a precious thing. She purred until the very end and that's the best we can all hope for, to die happy and loved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 8:49am

***hugs***

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 9:49am

Don't feel stupid. I would feel the same way. I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend. Your post made me cry. Pets are family and some family members, like your Abby are truly special. I can not imagine how painful it must be to say goodbye. She was lucky to have you, as you were lucky to have her. I hope she is resting peacefully, watching the birds in the sky.

Many hugs,

Michelle

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 10:26am
You did the right thing emdeesea. Sending heartfelt sympathy your way.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 11:05am

I am sorry for your loss.

HUGS
Mark

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