Got her number but I AM SO UNCOOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Got her number but I AM SO UNCOOL!
107
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 7:55am

Continuing on from this saga:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsinglelovi&msg=6371.1&ctx=128

After the usual small talk, hesitation and missed opportunities I finally got around to asking for her number. But it’s not like I was suave in any way, no, I just blurted it out like an idiot...AN IDIOT!

I handed in my towel and she returned my membership card (it is in a small wallet with a bit of paper with my name on it). This embarrassing conversation is what followed:

Me: You know what you should do? Give me your mobile number, that way the next time we are both free we can arrange to do something.

Her: Ok, Shall I write it on the back of this?

Me: Yes.

Her: It’s a new number

Me: I’m sure you won’t make a mistake.

She handed back the bit of paper complete with her number on the back and as I took it I looked up at her. She was smiling, but it appeared as though she was embarrassed, her normally pale face was a shade of red. I put the bit of paper back into the wallet, said “Thanks” and walked out.

So, how did I do?

Is it worth pursuing?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 1:34pm

Sheri,

Your reply is one based on logic and reasoning, which are the first things that disappear when someone you are interested in is involved. How many times have you read posts here from women that begin with “I’m not normally like this but…” or “I’ve never done this before but…” and “No man has ever made me feel this way…” etc…etc…etc….etc…?

You say, “If a guy we're interested in calls and asks us out in advance for a date they've obviously given some thought to...now THAT is something many of us will react positively to.”

Is this intended to surprise me? If a woman I’m interested in calls and asks me out for a date I’d react positively too. I’d even react positively if she TEXT me and asked me out on a date. Naturally if you add the qualifier “interested in” your statements have credibility, but if a guy you were not really interested in called would you react positively just because he called?

You say, “I want to KNOW he's interested...that is a turn on” .

Again, is this intended to be a revelation? What if he wasn’t interested but you weren’t sure? What if he asked for your number, not with any romantic intention, but because he wanted to go out as friends. How would you behave around him? Would you avoid him? Would you confront him with your feelings? Things seem so easy when you aren’t actually in the situation. We ALL want to know that the person we are interested in feels the same way.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 1:53pm

Hal, I posted my previous response in direct response to what you said in your previous post. You said in that post that women like spontaneity...I was presenting a differing view (that a man with a plan is more appealing to at least some women than an off the cuff, spontaneous approach).

Same with the showing interest statement...you posted that snippet about pretending NOT to be interested, and I'm just saying that's not going to work on all women.

Just presenting a different viewpoint is all...no need to jump all over me!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 1:58pm
I wasn't jumping all over you. I like your viewpoint.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 2:14pm

I didn't mean the advice within this thread was contradictory. I meant there is a contradiction between what the women here say should be done and what I have read on dating advice websites.

Here is her message, verbatim:

---------------------------------
Hello, hows U? Its not been a very exciting day off for me. Had a nice trip to the dentist and catching up on lost sleep :-)

---------------------------------

Now, tell me she is madly in love with me :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 2:19pm

My interpretation...

The smiley is a good sign. But, the fact that the message itself was a weather report of sorts shows that she's waiting for you to make a move in the romantic arena, because she's not going to. If you are not careful, you will fully plant yourself in the "friend" category with this type of exchange. Once there, it's hard for a woman to see you as anything other than a friend.

I still say make it clear that you are interested in dating her by calling to ask for a date.

(I totally agree with Sheri's take on this whole thing as well).

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 3:29pm

And you could call her and say "Well I hope you are well rested because I was hoping we could meet for dinner on Friday." That way you show your interest in her as well as acknowledge that you read her message.

That friend article you posted is completely bogus in my mind. A woman that is seeking a dating relationship wants to have a date with someone she knows has a romantic interest in her. Some women probably have many male friends but just wants one male to want her in a different manner.

I agree with TallGirl and her interpretation too. Its going to become friend territory shortly if you don't act. Its coming up on a week...as they say...time to crap or get off the pot.

Ruby

edited for people citation mistake :P




Edited 4/5/2006 6:14 pm ET by rubyshoes03

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 3:43pm
You mean to tell me Hal has not asked this girl out yet?
In Gwen Stefani's words,
"Whatcha waiting for?"
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 8:02pm
Hal, I gotta tell ya, I'm beginning to wonder if you even want to ask her out or you're just feeding on the ridiculous over-analysis of all this. And really, if I, a person that's never met you or spoken to you, am having doubts I can only imagine what she's thinking. If you don't do it soon, you'll lose your chance. Don't play with her head because you can't MAN UP.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 5:13am

Eh... inconclusive, I'm afraid. I personally would put a question at the end of my text to invite another one from the man if I really was interested. Then again, she is not me. THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 11:31am
She asked me how I was. That is a question :-)

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