Got shot down......again.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Got shot down......again.........
Mon, 11-26-2012 - 7:28pm


Well, I've been out of the dating pool for some time, but I moved to a new area in Toronto........a few Saturday nights ago I went out to a pub.  Just chatting and socializing, but one guy really took an interest in me.  He had definitely had more to drink than me, but by the time I left he was holding my hands and asked to kiss me (I wouldn't let him - public place, people not really knowing me, etc.).  He wanted to "come over" that night - I refused, but he did ask a lot about me and took my number.

We had coffee a week or so later - he was actually quite nice, and as I suspected, we had a lot in common.  He made a comment that night though when he said "I"m happy being single" (he's 44).  I was actually  not going to contact him again, but at the end of the night when I joked that he liked being single, he said "Oh, but we can meet up for a drink some time."

I texted him last week and on Friday, we met up at a different pub.  I actually was quite done up - I guess I still have it in me when I do my hair, etc. (it had been a while since I made that "effort" to feel sexy). He commented on my appearance.......we hung out the whole night. Once again, the conversation was great. At the end of the night, he kissed me repeatedly (actually, not such a good kisser!! lol) and we shared a cab - him to his place, me to mine.

I texted him yesterday to ask him if he wanted to come over tomorrow night and get a pizza (we live in the same neighbourhood).  I got this response "Hi Mel.....unfortuantely I'm busy for the next few nights.  Maybe some other time? Keep in touch".  Ahhh!!! Not that bad but I guess he really didn't want to get involved.

Trying to bury this one and not feel rejected........just not sure that any men out there really want "girlfriends" anymore.........I think they want "girl" "friends" (as in, see you on the week-end, drink with you, don't have to meet your family/hear about your problems kind of thing).

Boo....... :(



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Mon, 11-26-2012 - 9:02pm
I dunno the asking to "come up" when you first met and constant not so great kissing screams hook up to me. Now if that's the kind of friendship you want as well then go for it, but I don't get the sense that he wants a platonic friend or a serious girlfriend. If my hunch is right then it's possible he's conveniently busy because he was able to line up a sure thing. If you're wanting a relationship then I wouldn't put much effort into this guy. He's probably fine to hang out with casually, but still single at his age and happily so? Doubtful that will change.
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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Mon, 11-26-2012 - 8:53pm
I think I'd tell him to let me know when he's available and leave it at that. I don't know that I'd say he rejected you. He may really be busy with something he's not ready to involve you in. I'd be upset that he didn't suggest another night, but don't give up hope just yet!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Mon, 11-26-2012 - 8:11pm

Oh....I forgot to add......on Friday night as soon as I got home from our date I got a text from him saying "Miss you already".  I responded with - "Me too - thanks for the great night."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 11-26-2012 - 8:10pm

Well boo to him.  Did he say if he has ever been married or in a serious relationship?  I'd say that a guy who is 44 & hasn't been married or serious about someone is a bad candidate for a relationship--in this case, it's definitely not you, it's him.  He just wants someone to hang out with occasionally & is probably worried that you want "too much" from him even if you only wanted pizza.