guess its just me myself and I

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
guess its just me myself and I
12
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 3:25am
my boyfriend and i broke up last night. a little backround: we had issues with the way he'd talk to me and some names I didnt like. He blew it off, still seeing things his way- that its just a joke. but i told him quite a few times that i didnt like it and felt uncomfortable with it and it still persisted. when it came down to the question i asked him will you agree to stop calling me names? at this point he blew me off again so i put it out there again..."yes or no?" so he says "I cant say that it wont happen again" at that point i was pissed...threw off my seatbelt...and asked him to take me to his house that i wanted to get my clothes and other things and bring them home. So I did. And now I wait. For what, I dont know. maybe for another man to sweep me off my feet with his *mannerly ways*, or maybe a new job opening that I get hired for, or maybe....when the emotional mess within myself that i'll have to be dealing with subsides, i can have good quality time with friends, family, and time to myself. Breakup's arent easy, but there can be a lot of benefits that come after the breakup. Its the loss that sucks. 6 straight months and I practically saw him everyday. This is going to be hard.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 11:33am

Welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 11:50am

You did the right thing! You have to believe that! The person inside of you - that the outside you is taking care of - feels so safe right now! Knowing YOU did that for you! The outside person is scared because being alone can some times feel scary - but someone as self confident as you must be, to stand up for yourself like that, will NO DOUBT not be alone for long! You will attract someone RESPECTFUL into your life when you demand respect!

Sometimes we confuse negative attention as though it's better than no attention - but you have NO CLUE how damaging negative attention is to your psyche! No attention - or rather positive personal attention is so much better!

It sounds like a bunch of crazy talk but you have no idea how true it is!

Hang in there!!!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 12:03pm

You stood up for yourself and didn't allow some oaf to disrespect you. Kudos!!!

No, the hurt is not fun . . . that pit in your stomach that will not go away. I heard somewhere once that the recovery time will be half of the dating period. Hopefully, within a couple of months, your pang will fade away.

Try to live in the moment instead of "waiting" for something as you put it. I know, easier said than done but I thought I would try to encourage you ; )

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 4:27pm

You did the right thing. Any man who calls you names and thinks it's funny, especially when you have asked him not to, is not worth your time.

I know breakups are hard, but you might be surprised and find the lack of his "mannerly" presence freeing. I hope so.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 8:26pm
i've always told myself that i'd rather be alone and happy than in a relationship and miserable. so it doesnt sound crazy. it makes a lot of sense actually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 8:28pm
much appreciated!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 8:30pm
btw.....your comment about not letting some "oaf" disrespect me had me giggling:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:48pm

There's a difference between teasing and emotional abuse. If he knows calling you something bothers you and he does it often then it's abuse, and you shouldn't take it. However, a little teasing from time to time can make things more interesting. From time to time is the key, and obviously, names like b*tch don't count. (Hmmmn... that's a tough one, I've said it to women I know and they laugh uproariously because they know it's NOT something I would normally say). I think you did the right thing. It sounds like you had to bear lots of little jabs, it gets on your nerves and wears you down. Congratulations on having the guts to stand up for yourself! (We'll make a boxer out of you yet - jabs)

Seriously, it might suck that you're single, but you'll get over this guy. You're better not being in a relationship where you feel poked at. You learned quickly. Some people spend years in these kind of abusive relationships. Good for you.

Cheers!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 11:35pm
This is an odd question, but are you by any chance Persian?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 1:42am
no irish and eukranian

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