Guy Trouble~need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Guy Trouble~need help
4
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 7:51pm

OK, I had a five year relationship and I was engaged but I broke it off b/c I was not ready to get married. I've been talking to guys now and its going good. These guys are like "I'm never going to get married" and just want to go from girl to girl. I don't just want to be another girl. What happens when they get older and most of the girls get married or they can't find anyone? Does that happen or do they just keep meeting girl after girl?

Guys can do that but if a woman tried to do that they couldn't and be considered a whore.

Anyway, I've been talking to this guy and I really want to go out with him. He keeps saying that we should do something. I've called him twice now and I've been waiting for him to call me, its only been a week. I am used to doing something with a guy all the time and I just hate waiting for him to call (or if he'll call)to go out. I don't want to be the one always calling him or emailing him. I guess I'll just wait to see if he'll call me to do something. It could be a month from now or never....

It just sucks and it seems like most of the guys are taken.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 9:49pm
Okay, you were in a relationship for *5* years. Relax. Enjoy being single.
That being said you can do, ahem, whomever and whatever you like, just remember that it is your morals and your heart that you are hurting. You have to stand by what you believe in. If you think that those actions are okay then go for it, but if you want to be a person that is committed to someone else then that's how you should act.
As for this guy, he will ask you out if he is interested. He will call if he is interested. He will act if he is interested. So don't try to push him, don't put too much stop in it because if he really wants you, then he will put forth the effort to do so, you deserve that.
I hope that helps.
~Chloe
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2006
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 10:05pm
Hi :)
I am very new to this message board and this is my first post so ..... HELLO :)
as i read your post, i felt like i was reading something i would write! I was in a 6yr relationship and was engaged and living together with my then fiance. Last year - exactly 1yr ago- i broke off the engagement for a number of reasons.
Its true, it seems like all the good people are taken BUT that does not mean that there aren't any good people out there! Be true to yourself, know who you are and what your intentions are, and you will be fine.
How long have you been "single"? Go out, have fun, meet new people (guys and girls) and weed out the bad ones - if it doesnt feel right, then move on. I know it IS hard to weed out the bad ones, especially when you dont really have the experience of dealing with them, but you will learn!
i hope this helps a little. But with being strapped down for the last 5yrs - you should go out and find YOU again! You will not believe what you will find out about yourself.
There are plenty of guys that appreciate a girl with self respect... NEVER SETTLE!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 7:00pm

Ahh, I feel your pain about waiting for him to call. In fact, I posted on the boards about that last week. It's so frustrating when guys don't do things on our timetable, isn't it??

I do think it's better to wait for the guy to do the chasing, and it's up to you to decide if he waited too long. :) The best thing you can do is keep yourself busy and not wait by the phone.

As for there not being good guys available -- that's true to some extent. But, they are out there, but it just takes a little searching. (or waiting -- one of my coworkers is convinced that her hypothetical perfect man is "out there, he's just married to someone else right now.")

It takes patience, which is very hard, but worth it in the end. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 2:34pm
Hey there,
One line in your message jumped out at me, the one about the guy maybe calling you in a few months or never. Well, I happen to know that guys have a rule about calling girls, and it does make sense (Believe me, I normally don't go by the book but this one's just common sense and natural): Guys usually wait one week to call, or at least 3 days, and here's why. If they call you less than three days after getting your # or meeting you, you could think they're desperate because it's too soon. If he hasn't called within a week, though, it usually means something has come up, whether he's decided he isn't interested or he has a GF. Sometimes it could just mean he's busy, but how long does a quick phone call take? And if he hasn't called after two weeks, I'd completely write it off, if I were you. That's not a good sign- it could mean he was randomly going through a list of numbers he had lying around, happened to find yours (which could mean he's looking for a quick sack sessiona and nothing more ). Good luck and I'm going through a similar thing so i can understand the frustration!