Guys in bands: yay or nay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2008
Guys in bands: yay or nay?
16
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 1:16pm

For a while, I've held the belief that guys in bands aren't "dateable". The belief stems from 2 bad experiences with guys in bands and a lot of careful observation, which led me to think that they're (for the most part) deceitful manwhores...but I'm starting to think that I'm wrong.


What are you guys' thoughts on guys in bands?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 1:46pm
I've dated a drummer & a guitar player. I don't see anything bad w/it, it's your own preference. They aren't all man whores :-)
5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 2:13pm

I'm with you. It's a no. Too much temptation makes the idea unappetizing.

Unless of course you're just looking for a fun fling. Then that's another story entirely. But if you're looking for a guy to stick around then no.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 1:25am

My son (age 22) is in a rock band. Last month I was in a bar listening to them play. They were actually pretty good. I've known most of the band members since they were young kids (elementary, middle, and high schools). As I watched and listened, I started thinking about what the folks did besides playing rock/blues music. My son graduated with honors with a degree in mechanical engineering, the other lead guitarist is a computer science graduate that works on Wall Street (investment banking), The base guitarist graduated from college in three years with honors with a degree in statistics; he now works as an actuary. The singer just graduated with a degree in finance and will go to work for a large insurance company as a financial analyst, the drummer is a cop. I'm pretty sure that they don't match some of the descriptions I've read about musicians in this thread. So.......before you pull out that big broad brush to paint this canvas, you might want to consider a brush with a finer point.

You need to look at band members as individuals not as a monolithic slab. Some are good and some are bad and some are somewhere in between.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 11:37am

Depends.


A guy who's in a band, that's his life - nothing else. Is a no go for me, because even though I have work/school/whatever, I also have other things too. I know one person who's dropped out of school at 23, because of grades all due to his band. He says music is his life, and wants to hit it big. However, he's not there yet, so to let everything else kinda fall out is unattractive to me.


A guy who plays in a band, but still has an outside job, or something, I like a whole lot more. I know a mechanic who plays in a band. They have paying gigs, and some that take up his entire weekend, but it's more apart of his life, not his entire life. His way is more balanced in my eyes.



"One Step At


Enjoy the Simple.






  &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 12:22pm

On top of that if he is a long haired, dope smoking, maggot/STD infested, body pierced, graffiti skinned, tree hugging, Bush hating hippie, you can bet your mother will be ecstatic to meet him.


I love it!

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 1:04pm

I'm in agreeance w/a lot of what the others are telling you.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 1:46pm
Ha...I actually have a good guy friend who is in a band and who has advised me not to date guys in bands.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 3:29pm
Actually I'd prefer that I had that job, but whatever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2007
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 7:13pm

Not all of us with tattoos and piercings end up in a band. Some of us end up in graduate school with professional careers. ;-)


~ lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2007
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 5:48am

To be honest, I’m not at all surprised or defensive about your criticism over my lifestyle choices because I get that a lot regarding my decision not to have children. I could list all my personal and professional successes, but I am secure enough to know that I don’t need to justify my life in order to attain someone else’s approval or to change their preconceived notion about me. Yes, I acknowledge that my parents were not perfect parents, but I used those experiences (both positive and negative) to improve my life and to contribute to the lives of others in a positive manner. I assure you, I’m not one to be pitied because of my decision to have tattoos and piercings.


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