Guys my age dating younger women
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| Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:17am |
I was talking to a friend of mine who is 24. I am 32, but she just started dating a guy who is 31. She went out, her and her friend (25) and meet up with this guy's other friend (32). Now her friend has a date with the friend. This all happened after a weekend that we hung out and I told her how hard it was to go out and meet decent guys my age and how I was wondering where they were hiding. I was a bit shocked (and yes, maybe a bit angry) becuase I felt this was just the type of situation I am running into constantly. I am starting to feel like I am over the hill at 32. My younger friends seem to have no trouble and I look just as young as they do. My problem is a) being at the right place at the right time, b) maybe I need to lie about my age??
It's just frustrating how these guys in my age group are so hard to find, but for some of my (younger) friends they are falling out of the sky. I hate feeling this way because I know showing any kind of negativity is picked up by others, but it just seems so unfair. The worst part is I don't remember ever having an easy time meeting men (any age). My last relationships have been with younger men and it would be nice to date some guys closer to my age, but they seem to be dating 20-somethings. Is this a phase? It's just hard for me. Advice? Anyone has a similar situation? How do you handle being happy for others when things don't seem to be working out for you?
At 32 I am looking for guys who are the same age or older, but there is ussually a lot of baggage. Divorce, kids, commitment issues, mid-life crisis, etc. I just want to find a guy who is in the same place in life I am. Not still in college, not embroiled in child custody disputes, etc.

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Good question.
When I got divorced at the ripe old age of 46 I thought the next woman I would have a relationship with would be a woman younger than me. I thought that because at that time my non-custodial children were 8 and 12 and most women in the same life situation were ten years younger than me. Now I'm turning 54 next month and I still think that way for most women my age group are retired, have children out of the house and they want to travel or do fun things. I'm still working and still seeing my children (now 14 and 18) as much as they let me. I'm focused on saving for my retirement and my children's college tuition.
What I want in a partner is that she takes care of herself physically (exercise, diet, spiritually, personal awareness and growth) and that our lifestyles mesh (usually women not my age).
So I invite you to look at lifestyle and core values compatibility rather than age similarity. Thinking that way may open up a bunch of other possibilities for you.
Mark
Smile,
Deirdre
Yep, I have the same experience.
>>At 32 I am looking for guys who are the same age or older, but there is ussually a lot of baggage. Divorce, kids, commitment issues, mid-life crisis, etc.<<
I think you might have just answered your own question with this statement. I think the 30+ guys out at the clubs looking for 20-somethings are the ones who are not looking for something serious, but perhaps just a little fun. Could be the result of a bitter divorce (they don't want to get tied down again), commitment issues, mid-life crisis (they also are feeling old and snagging a 24-year-old makes them feel younger?).
I am also 32 and occasionally feel like the world decided the cutoff for beauty and attraction was 29, but most of the time I feel like I have just raised my standards and don't want just *some* guy to date - I want a great guy. The 24-year-olds can have the boozehounds at the bar - I'm over that crowd anyway. :) The guy I'm looking for probably spends Saturday night reading at the corner coffee shop or bookstore.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Edited 6/27/2007 12:11 pm ET by fruitedplain
I'm guessing you're being sarcastic because, well, it just sounds it. But just out curiosity (and only because you talk about it so much! :) ), how old may I ask are you? Again, just curious.
Oooh, and fun fact about me (and always a popular topic of conversation when meeting people), I work in a historical cemetery (in development and fundraising, as I've already mentioned....nothing weird!). Speaking of burial plots. :) Just trying to get my foot in the non-profit door...I want to get into event planning eventually.
Edited 6/27/2007 12:19 pm ET by cml7721
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