Guys my age dating younger women
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| Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:17am |
I was talking to a friend of mine who is 24. I am 32, but she just started dating a guy who is 31. She went out, her and her friend (25) and meet up with this guy's other friend (32). Now her friend has a date with the friend. This all happened after a weekend that we hung out and I told her how hard it was to go out and meet decent guys my age and how I was wondering where they were hiding. I was a bit shocked (and yes, maybe a bit angry) becuase I felt this was just the type of situation I am running into constantly. I am starting to feel like I am over the hill at 32. My younger friends seem to have no trouble and I look just as young as they do. My problem is a) being at the right place at the right time, b) maybe I need to lie about my age??
It's just frustrating how these guys in my age group are so hard to find, but for some of my (younger) friends they are falling out of the sky. I hate feeling this way because I know showing any kind of negativity is picked up by others, but it just seems so unfair. The worst part is I don't remember ever having an easy time meeting men (any age). My last relationships have been with younger men and it would be nice to date some guys closer to my age, but they seem to be dating 20-somethings. Is this a phase? It's just hard for me. Advice? Anyone has a similar situation? How do you handle being happy for others when things don't seem to be working out for you?
At 32 I am looking for guys who are the same age or older, but there is ussually a lot of baggage. Divorce, kids, commitment issues, mid-life crisis, etc. I just want to find a guy who is in the same place in life I am. Not still in college, not embroiled in child custody disputes, etc.

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Never say never. (-: Keeps the world of possibilities open.
There's also something to be said for knowing what you want and not settling for less than that.
If you girls don’t mind me asking, where do you all live? I currently live in DC, and I have also lived in NYC and Boston. I am not single, but I can tell you for sure that there are plenty of single guys in those cities who are in their early 30’s looking to finally settle down after spending their 20’s focusing on grad school and career instead of making babies. They have had their fun with the 20 year old girls, and now they are ready to meet someone close to their age to settle down with, someone who is mature and intelligent enough to carry on an interesting conversation with. But they seem to have no lucky finding someone close to their age with no baggage. Just like the most of you, they don’t want to deal with crazy baby daddy’s or kids or divorces. I get bombarded with requests from my guy friends and their friends to set them up with my girlfriends, but every girl I know are in relationships already. The minute they become single, they get snatched up by someone else right away.
So if I were you, I would seriously consider moving to a bigger city if you don’t already live in one. There are definitely lots of single guys who live and work in bigger cities in their early 30’s, ready to settle down and have no baggage.
Smile,
Deirdre
The snatched up phenomenon I am talking about is that girls get snatched up the minute they become single, not the men. I know plenty of very eligible single men in their early 30's who have no baggage and looking to settle down with someone close to their age, who can match them in the maturity and intelligence department. They have no luck. So they pass their time with the 20 year olds instead while looking for the right woman.
I went to NYC to visit couple of weeks ago, and I can't tell you how many guys I met who are in their late 20's early 30's, single, successful (either i-bankers or lawyers), and not gay. Yes, I did see a few of them with 20 year old girls, but when I actually talk to them or listen to them talk with their friends, they are simply passing their time and having fun with the 20 year olds, while still looking and waiting for the right one to come along.
So if you are in your early 30's, mature, intelligent, with no baggage, there are plenty of guys out there desperately looking for you. You just have to be at the right place to meet them.
So if you are in your early 30's, mature, intelligent, with no baggage, there are plenty of guys out there desperately looking for you. You just have to be at the right place to meet them.
I think that if you WERE one of them, you'd realize that it's not all that easy.
Smile,
Deirdre
I don't understand what it is. Maybe after 30, there is some "I'm desperate" hormone that is released that men can pick up on? I once had a co-worker who got married to a guy 7 years older and she said that his male friends would tell him it was great that she was a lot younger because they could be married and wait for a few years before they had kids so they wouldn't have to raise against her clock. I was 29 at the time and the comment made me ill. I am not even sure I want kids, I just want a healthy relationship.
I actually have read some online ads were guys are in their mid thirties and their cut off age is 29. I have heard comments about having to deal with women's biological clocks (not that they ever think about the fact that the older men are the more chances a child can have genetic defects-article on msnbc.com).
It does make me think I need to keep my age to myself (at least to start). I don't mean lie, but not put it out there. There are too many stereotypes of the desperate spinster out there one has to deal with. Our society is youth obsessed, specially with women.
I guess my one hope is that people my age, might be ending their starter marriage. the one they got into becuase everyone else was doing it, thought it was the right time and really didn't know who they were. I guess I wouldn't be opposed to dating a great guy with some baggage as long as is not so recent (ink not dry yet) and they don't make me suffer for all the harm their exes put them through.
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