guys signals confusing

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
guys signals confusing
16
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 5:58pm
well i've become single about two months ago and have been dating there is a particular guy in general that lives about five minutes from me. we've been very honest with each other from the beginning neither of us or that experienced in the dating game, but i'm more reserved not into the club scene which he is there almost everynight. it seems that he wants to be with me but then when we are together he tells me how him and his friends were out the night before hanging out with some hotties and this is right after we messed around no sex yet though. but the thing i can't get is that he calls me every night after he goes out with his friends and wants to hang out with me but then when we are together he talks about the hotties he hangs with the night before or whenever i don't know how to take this considering i've only been with my high school sweetheart i'm trying not to let my feelings get to serious but i do like him i just don't know if he likes me the same way help??

~~jenn

Pages

Avatar for zelgadis2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 10:22pm
In my opinion... let him go.

I maybe very judgemental but from my person experiences. Anybody who goes "clubbing" almost everynight as you say is looking for only one thing casual non-commited sex. He may be wanting the same thing from you. I may be biased but this is again from what you are telling me and from the details which resmeble to my experiences. Nobody who likes you for something more than casual sex would call you and whenever you both talk the conversation is about the "hotties" he met on so and so day. Loose him you deserve someone who is interested in you and not the hotties in club.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 6:22am
Perhaps he is telling you about the 'hotties' from the club to make you jelous and get a reaction out of you.

It is a childish thing to do, but i admit i have tried doing it in the past.

I got quite upset and annoyed when the guy i had been dating for a few years wasn't reacting at all to me commenting on other good looking guys.

He could be saying these things as a way to get a reaction from you and see if you really are interested or not.

Just a thought to keep in mind.

Perhaps ask him why he keeps telling you these things and tell him you don't like hearing about it and why.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 8:32am
I agree that he's trying to get a reaction from you, whatever his reasons may be. I've been guilty of that too. However, the fact of the matter is that if it bothers you or you don't understand why he talks to you about all the "hotties" he's meeting, ask him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 11:02am
how old are you? how old is he?

other than the comments about the hotties, do you two have a pretty normal relationship?

do you think he'd sleep with one of those hotties if he had a chance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 11:57am
I'm a guy. Any guy with a sense of self-respect isn't going to tell you about his hotties--whether true or false, past or present or future.... (The exception is when you ask him.)
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 12:26pm
I think his signals are pretty clear. You're good for the messing around fun while he's looking for someone else. He calls you after going to the bars b/c he didn't pick anyone up. He's telling you about the "hotties" b/c he wants to be very clear about the fact that you aren't "it" for him and he's still on the prowl.

If you're okay with that, then continue to see him. Because it bothers you, though, I'm guessing you're not okay and you need to cut the ties. He's not going to fall in love with you. It has nothing to do with you. He just sounds like quite the player and they just don't seem to fall for anyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 3:14pm
well, we live in a small town so i hear that his hottie stories aren't all they are cracked up to be, and his friends tell me that i'm all he talks about(in a good way), i agree with you guys on i think he's trying to get a reaction from me i just turned 25 and he's 24. like last night he showed up at my house apologizing about being a dick when i didn't even say anything once again i need to tell you guys that we are only dating i think i was just upset when i posted that cuz i'm not used to the dating scene yet i've only had one serious relationship my whole life with my high school sweetheart and i'n kind of use to the commitment thing. i decided to go out last night with a guy i've been talking to for awhile online and we had a blast, he was actually into being with me i mean just hanging out wise and didn't make any moves except for a good night kiss at the end of the night. i don't know what to do about the other guy cause now he's all into me to kissing my butt and whatnot i had flowers on my doorstep when i got home from church today with a little easter basket made up it was so cute...now i'm really confused i told him about my other date and the other date about him being as honest as i am and they both still want to see me(they don't know each other) now what???
Avatar for zelgadis2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 11:03pm
I think you should ask yourself. What do "YOU" want. What are "YOUR" standards and when is enough "ENOUGH." Once you know those then see which of these two people sit in to what you really want in a relationship, and don't be sad about you hurting him; in the end a good relationship has to be one that you ultimately care about and not one that is based on trying not to hurt someone.

Concerning the first guy. Whether or not his stories are or aren't cracked up to be; no decent guy would do this to someone they care about. He may have finally understood and is sorry for doing what he did. On the other hand, it could be he is only apologizing to get the one thing he wants anyhow and as a way to keep you in his control (since you told him about the other date) and once he feels the threat is over he may continue doing his same old habits again. You have to see how true and genuine he is and like I said in the first paragraph. The eyes of a person can really tell a lot. I wish you good luck. Keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 1:12pm
thanks for the advice after all that apologizing, he went and did the sae thing last night we hung out frist of all he didn't introduce me to his freinds that were just leaving as i pulled up to his house then when we got into talking about our relationship he told me he's now still hung up over his ex so i told him that we are just friends i can take this bouncing around my emotions anymore and that i need someone who watns to be with me and not everyone else well we are still friends but i just feel all alone again i called the other guy i went on a date with, he asked me to dinner tonight so i'm gonna tell him and conitue my honesty with him i don't think i'm ready emotionally for nay relationship right now. but then i want a relationship again..this guy that i'm goin out with tonight is into what i'm into not the club scene and the causual affairs scene i hop eit works out of not i guess oh well
Avatar for zelgadis2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 7:49pm
I think you really need to give yourself some time, when you feel yourself emotionally ready for a relationship you go and get them *wink*. Remember you are a great person and there will be that special someone out there for you. I think it is good that you are honest to the other guy and if the first guy (the one into the clubbing scene) is giving you more pain I would eliminate him a a friend as well. You don't need to be drawn back into pain but move on and "go get the world." Finally, and I know this has been said so many times, don't go looking for a relationship it will come to you when you least expect it to. Best of luck and keep us posted on how things go. *smile*

Pages