guys signals confusing

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
guys signals confusing
16
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 5:58pm
well i've become single about two months ago and have been dating there is a particular guy in general that lives about five minutes from me. we've been very honest with each other from the beginning neither of us or that experienced in the dating game, but i'm more reserved not into the club scene which he is there almost everynight. it seems that he wants to be with me but then when we are together he tells me how him and his friends were out the night before hanging out with some hotties and this is right after we messed around no sex yet though. but the thing i can't get is that he calls me every night after he goes out with his friends and wants to hang out with me but then when we are together he talks about the hotties he hangs with the night before or whenever i don't know how to take this considering i've only been with my high school sweetheart i'm trying not to let my feelings get to serious but i do like him i just don't know if he likes me the same way help??

~~jenn

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Avatar for zelgadis2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 11:38pm
Good for you I hope you had a great time there! I am originally from Venezuela =)

Best of luck to you girl and don't worry things will turn out great in the end!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 10:33pm
thanks for all your advice=) sorry i haven't been around the boards lately i've been busy with work and went on a three week vacation to venezula for som camping on the jungle and basejumping off of angel falls lol i really cleared my head of all the nonsence and learned i was just lonely at the time but now that i'm working again full time, and i'm getting into the things i love again i'm not out looking for a guy if one comes along great but if not oh well i got my family and friends and the when the right guy does come along this time i will definitly know it form learning from previous mistakes=)

thanks again all,

jenn

Avatar for zelgadis2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 12:38am
I posted a message earlier and it went *poof* very wierd. =/

Well concerning your feelings I can understand, I myself am somewhat worse than you in that department heh so I don't know how much I can offer for advice. I think that right now the best way to look at it is as two friends or better yet, two people, having a good time. Don't put a lot of expectation at the present moment since it is too early. Another thing is seeing why you are afraid of getting hurt when you are comfortable with someone? Trying to find the root problem can help loads. If you of course want to write to me by e-mail (because you don't want to place it on the boards) I can talk to you that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 9:48pm
that's what i'm afraid of getting comfortable for some reason i got the fear of getting hurt
Avatar for zelgadis2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 2:13pm
It seems things are going pretty well for you. I'm glad you left out the other guy, he seemed to be holding you down from better things. Concerning your feelings with this other guy, I suggest just letting things run its own course. Showing interest and as one's comfortable level gets better things will just run smoothly. I wish you the best of luck you deserve it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 1:03pm
well, i have eliminated the first guy as a frien as well, i mean i hate to be mean but he obiously didn't care about me at all and that's not a friend i need in my life right now things have been goin great with the other guy i went out with we went to the flyer's game last night in philly(we are both huge hockey fans=)), and then we went out to get dinner at nice little italian restraunt in the city then had a nice walk along the river. it's kind of scary i don't want to get my feelings involved cause i'm afraid he'll turn around and run away but he keeps seeming intersted and finally a guy uts as much into me as i do him....tonight we are goin to the gym and out to see my bro's band it's like a breath of fresh air to have someone i have so much in common with but yet we have our own separate interests as well i hope it works out for us
Avatar for zelgadis2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 7:49pm
I think you really need to give yourself some time, when you feel yourself emotionally ready for a relationship you go and get them *wink*. Remember you are a great person and there will be that special someone out there for you. I think it is good that you are honest to the other guy and if the first guy (the one into the clubbing scene) is giving you more pain I would eliminate him a a friend as well. You don't need to be drawn back into pain but move on and "go get the world." Finally, and I know this has been said so many times, don't go looking for a relationship it will come to you when you least expect it to. Best of luck and keep us posted on how things go. *smile*
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 1:12pm
thanks for the advice after all that apologizing, he went and did the sae thing last night we hung out frist of all he didn't introduce me to his freinds that were just leaving as i pulled up to his house then when we got into talking about our relationship he told me he's now still hung up over his ex so i told him that we are just friends i can take this bouncing around my emotions anymore and that i need someone who watns to be with me and not everyone else well we are still friends but i just feel all alone again i called the other guy i went on a date with, he asked me to dinner tonight so i'm gonna tell him and conitue my honesty with him i don't think i'm ready emotionally for nay relationship right now. but then i want a relationship again..this guy that i'm goin out with tonight is into what i'm into not the club scene and the causual affairs scene i hop eit works out of not i guess oh well
Avatar for zelgadis2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 11:03pm
I think you should ask yourself. What do "YOU" want. What are "YOUR" standards and when is enough "ENOUGH." Once you know those then see which of these two people sit in to what you really want in a relationship, and don't be sad about you hurting him; in the end a good relationship has to be one that you ultimately care about and not one that is based on trying not to hurt someone.

Concerning the first guy. Whether or not his stories are or aren't cracked up to be; no decent guy would do this to someone they care about. He may have finally understood and is sorry for doing what he did. On the other hand, it could be he is only apologizing to get the one thing he wants anyhow and as a way to keep you in his control (since you told him about the other date) and once he feels the threat is over he may continue doing his same old habits again. You have to see how true and genuine he is and like I said in the first paragraph. The eyes of a person can really tell a lot. I wish you good luck. Keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 3:14pm
well, we live in a small town so i hear that his hottie stories aren't all they are cracked up to be, and his friends tell me that i'm all he talks about(in a good way), i agree with you guys on i think he's trying to get a reaction from me i just turned 25 and he's 24. like last night he showed up at my house apologizing about being a dick when i didn't even say anything once again i need to tell you guys that we are only dating i think i was just upset when i posted that cuz i'm not used to the dating scene yet i've only had one serious relationship my whole life with my high school sweetheart and i'n kind of use to the commitment thing. i decided to go out last night with a guy i've been talking to for awhile online and we had a blast, he was actually into being with me i mean just hanging out wise and didn't make any moves except for a good night kiss at the end of the night. i don't know what to do about the other guy cause now he's all into me to kissing my butt and whatnot i had flowers on my doorstep when i got home from church today with a little easter basket made up it was so cute...now i'm really confused i told him about my other date and the other date about him being as honest as i am and they both still want to see me(they don't know each other) now what???

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