Guys that talk about themselves

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Guys that talk about themselves
12
Thu, 04-10-2008 - 8:24pm

OK, so I just got back from meeting someone off of match.com, and once again, he talked about himself and asked me almost nothing about me. It's so tiresome. What are men thinking?

I consider myself a good conversationalist, able to talk about a variety of subjects and I can keep most people talking...but...hello?...can you at least FAKE an interest in me and who I am?

The guy I met on Saturday (OK, I never meet men this close together. It must be a lunar eclipse or something) had almost NO eye contact and jiggled his leg the whole time we talked. And again, I felt like I had to draw him out. Don't they think, "Man, I should have asked her more questions...did I seem self-obsessed?"

Can anyone relate to this?

BUT...I'm not giving up on OLD. Not yet. Usually by this time I would become so turned off I would take my profile down.

Just needed to get that out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 8:54am

Hi Fg,


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 11:31am
I agree w/Lynn. Sounds to me that he was a bit nervous; talking about himself, the shaking of the leg...that sort of thing. But don't write him off completely yet. Give it time and see where it goes. Having a case of the nervous jitters makes us do peculiar things sometimes lol. But say if you two go on another date, and he starts talking about himself, you could cut in and say, "Oh really? I can somewhat relate to that because at my job......." That may help break the nervous tension. But give it a few more dates and just see where it goes.
5yrssm 
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 12:19pm

It's a very common issue.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 1:17pm

I get mixed experiences with the women I meet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 1:48pm

John Gray suggests that women interrupt and jump in with our own stories, but that makes me uncomfortable.

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 2:59pm

I am sorry. That must be very frustrating.


I liked what the others said.

Soliel
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 3:23pm

"gun fights . .things that raise the stress bar..."

Just how many gun fights have you been in lately? ;-)

Just also wanted to add, that I get that people can be lonely and just need someone to listen to them. I consider myself an outstanding listener. And, I don't mind doing it at all...just not on a first meeting...not the whole time. I also know that men feel the need to impress women by telling them about all the ribbons and medals they have won.

I'm not going to interrupt men to tell them about myself, in spite of what John Gray says (and I am a fan of his).

Here's the thing: if a guy thinks enough of you from your emails and phone conversations to meet you, why wouldn't he be interested in learning who you are? It's not like you just happened to meet up: you are both there for the express purpose of getting to know each other better to see if you want to go on a date. I guess the two men I met went away and thought, "I don't know jack sh-t about her, but she's a great listener."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 3:32pm

>> I get that people can be lonely and just need someone to listen to them. I consider myself an outstanding listener. And, I don't mind doing it at all...just not on a first meeting...not the whole time. <<

I totally agree. Something about that feels like they need a therapist, not a date.


I am a great listener as well, and some people have taken too much advantage of that with me. I have learned how to steer the conversation to other topics. Eventually, you hope the other person thinks to ask you a question or two related to those topics that might help them get to know you better. If someone takes zero interest in learning about me, I eventually have zero interest in them. It should be a two-way street.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 4:16pm

I guess the two men I met went away and thought, "I don't know jack sh-t about her, but she's a great listener."


****


No, you have to think like a man. What he will be thinking is . "did she like me? I cant tell? She was not very talkative .. .(-:"

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-11-2008 - 6:08pm

As oldjarhead said, I doubt very much they are thinking that.

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