Happy Friday All!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Happy Friday All!
8
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 2:13pm
Any weekend plans?
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 2:24pm
Hi,

I'm going to a basketball game w/ my bf and a good friend and her bf. This will be the first time my bf meets any of my friends, so I hope it goes well!

How about you?

Hope all of you have a great weekend! :-)

ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 2:29pm
well tonight is girl night. My best friend/roommate and I are going to hang out together tonight. Not sure what we are doing but its just going to be the two of us. Tomorrow morning I am helping a friend move (ugh) and then the rest of the weekend is free. Maybe I'll get around to cleaning out my garage... ;)
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 2:39pm
All I have planned for the weekend is sleeping in! I am so boring!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 3:04pm
It won't be too exciting since I'm working all day Sat. Which means I'll be sleeping off the workday on Sun.

But when that OT shows up in next Fri's paycheck--that always makes me feel better...

Ash

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 5:24pm
Tonight I'm taking one of my friends out for her birthday to this fabulous restaurant with a jazz room - impossible to get reservations - but her long distance boyfriend was supposed to come in this weekend from DC for both of their birthdays - at the last minute he said he had to work (which is probably true) but things have been rocky otherwise, and to complicate matters, he is my other friend's best friend, which is how I met the birthday girl so I sort of get info from both sides and have to keep my mouth shut, which I do. After dinner my on again off again long term ex (LOL) might stop by

Tomorrow I am seeing the brother of my most recent ex (which is how i met the ex) for a walk in the park with him and his wife, and then I have to work on a brief. Sunday I am meeting a very persistent guy from an internet site - I do not think we'll hit it off but since he seems like a gentleman what's an hour for coffee (this one is a starbucks date - want to make sure I can make a quick getaway!)

And, question for you all - you go on one date with someone you met on a weekend away (bu the lives close by) - he tells you he finds you attractive and would like to date you and is a perfect gentleman on the date and you get along great. The clincher - his ex girlfriend is going to have a baby (!!!) next month - they are co-parenting, haven't been together since June and he does not want to marry her although is being fully supportive. Do you run as fast as you can or (what I've decided to do) see him one more time before the baby's born to determine if there is even something there to pursue (I am positive that nothing even close to intimate will happen between us - I told him I want to take things realllllyyyy slow and he seems to be the same. If i kiss him that will be alot. I figure I will see him at most twice till his daughter is born, and then lay low and perhaps just see him occasionally as a friend till I see how he reacts (I would love it if they ended up married and I still want to feel that way for quite awhile!!).

Thanks all and enjoy the weekend. Go Yankees!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 9:28pm
Personally, I'll let him go and just wish him the best. He has too much going in his life in which I will not be at all comfortable in being a part of, or even be involved with. I may like the person, but I can not really know for sure that I would want to share his time, energy, and affection with an unborn yet soon-to-be-born child. It's too complicated for my comfort.

However, if I really like him (and continue to enjoy his compliments), I probably would just keep things at a friendship level and communicate that to him as clearly as possible. That way, I won't feel too emotionally invested in him and still have the chance to "exit" early in our interaction.

If your gut says run as fast as you can, there must be a compelling reason why that only you can really know.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 10:45pm
I think that you should follow your instincts. If he is committed to his co-parenting role I can't imagine that he will be available to date much. Plus, his emotional committment will be - or at least should be - focused on his new baby.

Also, his relationship with the mother ended only 4 months ago. She's due next month...so...they broke up when she was 4 months pregnant, right? I don't know what the dynamics were in this relationship. i.e. How long were they together? Who ended it? Under what circumstances did she become pregnant (planned/unplanned)? Did he know she was pregnant when they broke up? So I'm hesitant to make assumptions...but it does make me wonder if he's ready to date someone new at this point. And depending on the the answers to the above questions - given that you are looking for a long term relationship leading to marriage and children - is he someone who is right for you ?

As far as seeing him before the baby is born and perhaps seeing him casually afterwards...even if you can remain emotionally grounded - are you certain that he can do the same?

jhoover

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-18-2003 - 1:01am
Basically, they were dating 2 months and using protection - she, 42, professional with a doctorate (just adding that in not that it makes a difference) got pregnant for the first time ever - he said he was not in love with her, never told her he was but when he learned she was pregnant, they stayed together several more months and did couples counseling etc - he confirmed that he was not in love with her and did not see himsel marrying her, and would not marry her just for the sake of the baby- he has been involved as a friend and the father the whole time and plans to continue that role - co-parenting, emotionally and financially. He wants very much to marry and have children. He has a fine reputation in the community as a person of character and integrity - although those who tell me that also do not know of his situation. My gut isn't telling me to run - there is nothing to run from - so far we have had one date, are friends and it may very well stay that way - we;ll see. I am willing to go on one more date with him but any kind of intimacy will have to wait at least a few months while I sort of watch this unfold from the sidelines.