Have we just quit trying?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Have we just quit trying?
40
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 6:35pm

I know some of you aren't interested in a relationship, and that's fine.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 7:29am
I think with me personally, I don't think I've really quit trying, but my job keeps me so busy, I haven't really thought about dating. And I agree w/you when you say that if a guy really likes you, he will call you, ask you for coffee, whatever. And I'm sure that some men out there may think the same of us, "well if she really likes me, she will call...." But I also think that relationships can be 50/50. I'm the kind of person where if I'm dating you, don't get snippity w/me if I don't call you every day every hour on the hour. I work for crying out loud lol! I have a job and it's pretty demanding and it definitely keeps me busy, but don't get upset if I'm not able to make it to a dinner date after work and don't get upset if I don't call you first thing when I get home from work. I've dated a couple of guys like that. But I'm also pretty independent & I just don't have the time and energy all the time to put into a relationship.
5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 11:43am

I think there's a happy medium somewhere. It should be "easy" in some ways. If a relationship is constant panic, worry, stress or just a chore, then I do think that's a sign that it's not the right relationship.


However, I do think we women need to try a little. Even if it's small things, like remember to compliment the guy once in awhile, or being the first to initiate a phone call or e-mail.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 12:05pm
I most definitely fall into the "quit trying" category.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 1:21pm

I think if you had a taste of it, you'd want it again.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 1:23pm

I think time is another huge issue.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 1:38pm

True.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 2:53pm

What is "trying" defined as? I mean is it required to be doing the online dating avenue to be considered "trying"? Or is it just to be opened to dating if someone asks me out? Or is it flirting when a guy is around? I mean I don't know what trying is defined as these days to be honest.


I know that I have completely and utterly given up on the online dating realm. It just is NOT the avenue for me. I have done it off and on for several years and I have decided it just is NOT the avenue for me to use to date. I do not like it, it frustrates me and it does NOT make me feel good about me as a person. I am doing things to better myself, I am working hard at getting debt I have paid off, I am working out daily doing boxing and kickboxing classes where I have met new friends and some great guys as well even if they don't turn into guys I date maybe they'll have friends one never knows. I am open to dating so hey maybe something will happen I certainly won't rule it out completely but my focus is ME right now and if other things happen in the process (like meeting someone) it will all be gravy.


Smile,

Deirdre

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 3:03pm

I'm open to winning the lottery, but if I don't buy a ticket, am I trying?


I think it's more than being open to being asked out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 3:19pm
>> I know that I have completely and utterly given up on the online dating realm. It just is NOT the avenue for me.<<

Same here. If that's part of "trying," then no thanks. I've tried it 3-4 times, and it is just plain draining. I'd much rather "try" by getting out of the house and by just being social. It might take longer to meet someone that way (real life), but at least it's based on something more than a photo and profile.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 3:53pm

According to my single GFs it's a not a good thing to try to meet someone and you should just be content with being single. Saying that you would like to meet men just makes you sound plain out and out desperate, plus not content with your life. Both are considered unbecoming - or so I have been told by my single GFs! I actually do like my life, and it would be great if there was someone to share it. Something men don't actually have a problem saying, but it doesn't mean they want to get married!


I guess I haven't quite quit trying. I still hold someone insane belief that there is someone out there for me, and someone who compliments me perfectly.


The number of places where I am able to meet people are becoming less and less, but I still hold out hope.


The thing I find most intriguing are the guys who you have a conversation with everytime you run into them. It may be fairly brief then one day the conversation leads to them saying, "We'll have to get together and do that some time, ie eat seafood, grab a drink." You reply, "That sounds like a great idea." Then they don't ask for your phone number, and it is never mentioned again. Aargh!!! Do you bring it back up saying, "Remember the time you invited me for seafood, well when will that be?" It's always the cute one who you want a date with too!


Beach

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