Have we "ruined things" for men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Have we "ruined things" for men?
87
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:27am

I was reading Shy's response to one of rebainmi's posts about men being big babies, scared of rejection, even when they know a woman will say yes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005

Hi fiesty,
Sure..., I'll agree to disagree. But if I remember correctly aren't you from the Land Down Under?

A man's man there is certainly not atypical of a man's man here in the Good Old USA. Before I wrote that response I asked 3 guys around the office (randomly picked) if this was a pussified male or not..., score 3 for 3, all agreed, the man was no steed.

Why don't you poll 3 guys at random and ask them if this was a real man or a wimp and let us know what they think down there.

Adrastos

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004

Adrastos,

You are correct that I come from Australia but I don't want to believe that American men are as pathetic as the ones described here on ivillage. Surely, this cannot be representative of American men and if it is, you need to hang your head in shame. I don't need to poll anyone and ask them what their opinion is. The majority vote doesn't sway me one way or the other and I don't need my opinion validated by others to know that I am right. Basically, you can run back and tell your posse and your survey group that I couldn't care less what they thought. The men that I dated are not the norm, they are not average and they are a step above the rest.

Feisty

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Well I know how you feel, because I was much the same way. So I know the reasons why men are reluctant to pursue the women they like. I was shy for pretty much all my life. And I'd rather get stuck in a fist-fight than to to brave the dating world!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 11:46am

Like I said earlier in the thread...,

..., Princess attitudes.

Adrastos

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 12:22pm

I wonder what makes it "wrong" for married/attached guys to flirt with women? Is that so bad? Women flirt and that all it is, just flirting and no expectations to go any further. Yah it's an ego boost but so what? You can call it "hitting on" or "flirting" ... one connotates a different intent but the actions/behavior would be the same wouldn't it?

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 12:43pm

feisty,
i had no idea i referring to one of your posts, and i am upset you used mine to get into an argument and to imply that i or all of us in america have never experienced a kind or nurturing man.

you said i was quoting a stereotype of men - that was my intent. i simply wondered if perhaps we are trying to have our cake and eat it too. you, clearly, have found a way to do so. that's wonderful.

i also certainly didn't mean to give adastros more ammo to fire with, but i do agree with him that men and women ought to find a middle ground of understanding. i don't think you two are working very hard at it, though!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 12:54pm
Because some people carry flirtations too far and some poor soul might be gullible enough to start really taking the flirtations seriously and thinking that this person isn't happy in their marriage or relationship and maybe they have a crack at it. Even harmless flirting can send someone and make them think, Wow! He/she said I had nice eyes or a nice smile. What does that mean? Do they want to date me? Do they want to leave their spouses for me?
Then they feel mislead, hurt and angry when they learn otherwise.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003

Let's go back to why Stacey started this thread:

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004

Lithenblithe,

I suggest that you read posts properly before you quote them out of context. Liyahberry first mentioned that she likes a macho man and I agreed with her. Then you said that macho men have certain qualities which I disagreed with and said that hadn't been my experience.

When I write my posts, I am writing it on behalf of all women on the board. At times, I need to clarify and say that I am from Australia as the dating process is different there. Adastros then said that men in America were different from the men I described. I'm more than willing to give American men the benefit of the doubt and I said that I don't think they are as pathetic as everyone makes them sound on the ivillage boards. Women need to take responsibility for their actions. If men are a certain way, then what have women done or not done to make them this way?

I'm not interested in meeting in the middle with Adastros. I said to him that we need to agree to disagree. I'm not the type of person to compromise my values, principles and morals to find a middle ground. I'm 32 years old and his opinions are as defined as mine are. I'm not interested in changing the world, hitting my head against a brick wall or beating a dead horse. You need to find people who are compatible with you and share your way of thinking, keep your mind open but your doors closed to people who are going to bring you down.

Feisty

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 10:03pm
I disagree with you on this as well adrastos. I think the man that feisty described doesn't sound like a wuss. It sounds like a man who really cares for a woman and who is not afraid to show her his kindness and caring because of his emotionaly maturity. Now if feisty had said that she was treating this man with disrespect or wasn't interested in him then yes that would be "wussy behavior". But, however she was happy with his actions and she was reciprocating his feelings so why would that be "wussy behavior". I would be on cloud nine if I had a man like this in my life and I would treat him with the respect and caring that he deserved as well.

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