Have we "ruined things" for men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Have we "ruined things" for men?
87
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:27am

I was reading Shy's response to one of rebainmi's posts about men being big babies, scared of rejection, even when they know a woman will say yes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 10:54pm

Adrastos,

I like to be treated like a princess and treat my man like a prince and there is nothing wrong with that. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't think they are worthy of a man or woman who can treat them in that manner and equally so, have a healthy self esteem so they can treat their partner with kindness, courtesy and respect.

Feisty

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005

Feisty, when you say princess, I don't think you mean it in the "spoiled brat" connotation the word "princess" has acquired in recent years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004

Cl-Countrygrlupnorth,

Yes, I want to return to the days where men were gentleman, women were ladies and chivalry was not dead. I was listening to the radio this morning and when you hear songs like the Pussycat Doll's song 'Buttons' and the Sugar Babe's song 'Push the Button', it's not wonder that young women are confused. Women need to stop being so sexually aggressive, take a step back and let men be men.

Feisty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
I like to be treated like a princess and treat my man like a prince and there is nothing wrong with that. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't think they are worthy of a man or woman who can treat them in that manner and equally so, have a healthy self esteem so they can treat their partner with kindness, courtesy and respect.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
I agree. Why shouldn't we expect to be treated like a princess? Men want everything and yet when we ask for something such as respect, then we're called everything in the book that's not nice or it's cynical.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Feisty!
Again, I agree with you. Alot of this confusion is what the media feeds us and women think that we're supposed to be aggressive, sexually charged women dragging men along to bed with us and being free and just out there.
I'm not that way and I never have and never will be.
I do wish we can go back to the days when men knew how to be men.
Men have been rejected for years by all different women but they never stopped asking. If one says no, simple they moved on to the next one and the next one until they found someone compatible with them.
This whole thing of why can't she ask me out...
I totally believe that men say they want an aggressive woman to ask them out on a date but once she did, he'd go back and tell all of his friends that she was stalking him and her behavior was scary.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005

I certainly think you're wrong to not listen to the guys I talked to...., these are real guys..., in the real world making important statements about what you said...,

So I took it to the streets at lunchtime and talked with people I didn't know about this issue of Princess Attitude vs Wuzzy Behavior and this is what I've got so far. This is the question phrased plus the comments:

Hey guys I need some help. Basically I have been having an argument with some women concerning how men should act in a relationship and while dating. I said I was tired of women asking for equality but then not wanting it in the dating arena. I also complained about their “princess attitudes”. So this chick says to me:

*****Every “man's man” I have been with has been very sensitive to my needs, has asked me how my day was and actually wanted to know the answer, has called me when they first woke up in the morning and called me again at night because they just want to hear the sound of my voice, has cooked and cleaned for me, has brought me soup when I was sick, made sure that every need and want has been met and treated me like a princess. I found this tendency more so in blue collar workers. It seems the more educated a man gets, the more he seems to not understand that it is his place to pursue and court a woman. *****

I called this guy a puzzy and said this wasn’t the way guys act or are supposed to act and she basically said I was screwed up. Now…, I think any guy who acted this way with a woman would be walked all over by her. After a while she would get sick of his wussy behavior and go find some other guy who was harder to handle.

Adrastos

What'd she do for him?
Marc

I do the good boyfriend routine but im not a walkover, but her attitude is all me me me.
D

sorry, not a guy, hope you don't mind.
"her expectaions of a relationship are out of touch with reality"
no, they're not. that's how my BF's have treated me. called, cooked, brought soup and held my hand when I was sick. of course, I do the same for them.
what do you mean "harder to handle", that he should play games, be a "challenge"? disapper, brek dates, not call? neglect her when she's sick in stead of taking care of her, just to be the bad guy?
I don't like the "it is his place to pursue and court a woman." attitude though. in a RL, both should take care of and spoil each other. she definitely has some entitlement issues.
Ulla

"Every “man's man” I have been with has been very sensitive to my needs,"
If ALL these guys were so great and treated her so well......why was she not with them anymore?
HMMMMM......something about her reasoning doesnt add up. And..."a man's man" is the last phrase in the world I would use to describe the putz this chick was describing. My question would be.......did she "treat him like a king" in return...or just use him up and throw him away?
Ld

Guys don't act like this..., what about challenge..., what about equality?
Yeah, she said she treated him like a prince.
Really..., if I guy was so willing to please do you really think she would stay around that long..., and even if she were sexing him 3 times a day that would wear off soon and an all -to-pleasing guy would get thrown to the curb.
Adrastos

"Yeah, she said she treated him like a prince."
Yeah.....right! Women who so vehimently claim to do so......rarely if ever actually do!
I would have flat out asked her......"If those guys treated you so well......why aren't you still with them?"
One of two things happened;
1) She used them up and tossed them aside.
OR
2) They got tired of being used and dumped her (which she'd never admit to in ppublic)
LD

No Inga..., not play games...,
..., just act normal and not be a total suck up who will get used and abused.
Women today are spoiled..., you want it all..., well sorry to burst your bubble but you can't have it all.
Adrastos

So..., if you had a guy that was so great ..., where is he or them now?
Adrastos

"no, they're not. that's how my BF's have treated me. called, cooked, brought soup and held my hand when I was sick. of course, I do the same for them."
I'm more of an "old fashioned" kinda guy. (maybey cuz i'm old??)
But even i wouldnt bow down to a woman like some kind of man servant.
My ex expected that, and it got old quick.
I dont mind helping out as long as there is similar in return.
But it would have to be in a marriage/ LTR situation.
Coming from just a "boyfriend", i agree, he's a schmuck who will soon get tossed to the curb for his replacement.
Osa

She treated these guys like princes, eh?
LDominare is probably correct, ask her why none of those relationships worked out for her...
Ulla Inga, in my view is not the spoiled type, but this girl asserting that it's a man's "place" to court a woman in the year 2006 is a bit much. I started to lose respect for her from the moment I read that.
My next question would be what her idea of treating a guy like a prince is? Some women consider showing up to bat their eyes and look pretty to be treating a man like a prince. Without asking, you'd never know her idea of proper treatment.
Also, all that calling and calling and calling could get to be like worship to some people.
Dj

Ulla: Ok..so for you there's no middle ground between waiting on a GF hand and foot and "playing games"
Wow
Just
Wow
Faith in humanity plummeting again
Rex

"those relationships didn't work out for different reasons not connected to the topic of this thread. I didn't dump them cause they were treating me well. they didn't dump me cause I was taking advantage of them."
This is EXACTLY the typical evasive answer I would expect a woman to give to the question of why she's not with any of those guys who supposedly treated her so well.
Ld

For a woman, playing games = she doesn't get what she wants 100% of the time.
Pfc

"My next question would be what her idea of treating a guy like a prince is?"
The answer to that question is usually something like "I give him sex whenever he wants it."
Ld

LD-
Unfortunately, that's sometimes very close to the truth. I'd caution guys to stay away from women who see giving anything in return as a "gift". The best way to minimize that type of behavior is not to reward it.
Dj




Edited 8/14/2006 4:11 pm ET by adrastos
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005

I got tired of reading this after the first paragraph...my eyes hurt...

So whats your point?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005

Hey..., the points in the post...,

Point #1..., it is important to listen to the opposite sex when they make statements about their behavior.

Point #2..., I was not in the wrong about how I responded to Fiesty's statement.

Point #3..., polling people at random is a respected way to make conclusions about questions or issues we face.

Point #4..., It takes someone like me to be able to hang out here and defend men in the face of such criticism.

Point #5..., reading paragraph after paragraph is not in some peoples interest..., especially if those people do not want to hear differing opinions.

Point #6..., I could go on forever but I already know I'm right.

Adrastos




Edited 8/14/2006 4:53 pm ET by adrastos
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005

Point #1..., it is important to listen to the opposite sex when they make statements about their behavior.

~~I dont know that anybody has argued this point with you in this thread. But my apologies if Im ignorant about this matter in this thread...I was away for 2 weeks and dont really care to go back and read 75 posts.

Point #2..., I was not in the wrong about how I responded to Fiesty's statement.
~~Thats the beauty of opinions. Nobody is ever really "wrong" or "right" when it comes to opinions. I did read a few of Fiesty's posts and I agree with her for the most part. Culture should be taken into context here, and I'm not so certain you have done that. She is from Australia and has made it clear that men, dating and relating is different there than from the US. I also happen to be in a relationship that she described and I can tell you that he is far, far from pussified.

Point #3..., polling people at random is a respected way to make conclusions about questions or issues we face.
~~You polled like 5 people right? (again your post made my eyes hurt..no joke, I couldnt read it). Thats 5 people in 6 billion that make up the population of this planet. There is no way that you can conclude that those five people support your argument. I could probably find 5 people that would say the exact opposite. Plus, there is no way the members of this board really know that those people are "random" and not people you already know.

Point #4..., It takes someone like me to be able to hang out here and defend men in the face of such criticism.
~~If you read more of the topics on this board, you would understand that there isnt always a "need to defend men." I dont think that most of the men need your help in defending as most of them would do very well on their own.

Point #5..., reading paragraph after paragraph is not in some peoples interest..., especially if those people do not want to hear differing opinions.\
~~Reading paragraph after paragraph that is difficult to read is not in people's interests. Its not about not wanting to hear differing opinions. I think everybody here has been pretty open-minded except when their opinions are attacked. Its also the manner in which different opinions are offered. If its in attack-mode, then of course people arent going to be receptive.

Point #6..., I could go on forever but I already know I'm right.
~~Again, thats your opinion and you're entitled.




Edited 8/14/2006 5:24 pm ET by rubyshoes03

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005

Oh Ruby...,

You don't give me enough credit.., I have at least 10 more people I talked to..., I just didn't want to put too much out there..., or spend too much time..., just enough to support my point.

At least I tried to get some backup and didn't just rest on my ideology and my own experiences.

So you agree with Fiesty that the men I talked with and their responces don't mean a thing???

Wow...,

..., simply WOW.

If I made a statement like that on this board about women I would be literally burned alive.

Adrastos

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