Have you dated a guy like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Have you dated a guy like this?
12
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 4:49pm

I was wondering if anyone has ever dated a guy who is unreliable and whether or not to stay....I've been dating this guy for almost 7 months. We have great chemistry and he calls me from 1-4 times per day, every day. I have a 9 year old son so we only see each other once a week. I want to see him more and I told him that I'm looking for a long term relationship and someone who wants a commitment and wants to get married...he told me that's exactly what he's looking for but then his actions say a different thing.

I'll give you an example. On Friday night he spent the night and then worked on Saturday. Then he called me and said he was going to come over on Saturday night. I said okay, call me later when you're coming over. He called next on Sunday morning at 10 a.m. (I was out at the gym) and he left a message saying sorry, I fell asleep. I called him back, he said he was at the flea market with a friend but would come over later that day. He called me at 4 pm and said he would be there in 20 minutes. Then he called me at 4:30 and said his truck had broken down on the highway. I said I don't believe you...I could hear the highway traffic in the background. He said you're not supportive, I have to call a tow truck and hung up.

The thing is, I really like this guy but this type of thing has happened countless times over the past 7 months. He's a nice guy and we have great chemistry but do guys like this ever change? I've tried about 5 times to break up with him...I've told him I'm looking for a very serious relationship and he says he is too. Also, his sister was tragically killed 3 weeks ago and I want to be there to support him through this but on the other hand, I'm 41 years old and I feel like I'm wasting time.

Thanks for your help.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 7:38pm
I think that he lies because he is insecure. Alot of the things he lies about don't really matter, like his dad's age, what days he went to work, or even his age. One day he told me he was 36 and then a few weeks later he told me he was 37. I don't know if he thinks that I won't like him if he tells me the truth or if he is just in a bad habit of lying about everything. I guess since he calls me every day I believe that he must really like me and want a future or why would he bother? I just wish he wasn't a compulsive liar.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 7:56pm

It sounds like he has trouble keeping track of the lies he's telling you.

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