Have you ever wondered...

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Have you ever wondered...
15
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 10:59pm

I friend of mine has started dating again in the past six months or so.

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Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 11:34pm

Where I used to work, we were kind of like a big dysfunctional family. After the company downsized, one of my old co-workers came to have lunch with me and when we returned she was walking around saying hello to a few old clients. She bumped into a guy who had just begun working for a client of ours. They hit it off and later that night, we all ended up getting together for drinks. Two dates later, I found out that not only was he married, but he had 5: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 kids and this is the kicker, a girlfriend to boot!?!

There's no telling what some of the guys in my past have been involved in . . . I've dated some winners!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 11:38pm

>>>There's no telling what some of the guys in my past have been involved in . . . I've dated some winners!<<<

What was it about them that attracted you to them in the first place? What did they do or say that got you to stay with them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 11:49pm

I met a guy online and went out once, and at the end of the first date, he said that he had just gotten out of prison 6 months earlier for serving 6 years for rape. He was VERY clean cut, right down to the groomed eyebrows/fingernails, not a speck of dirt on his shoes...very metro and classy.

I also went out with a guy for a month that I had met through work, only to get a call on my cell phone from his live in girlfriend (he had another apartment away from theirs) who wondered whose number she had found in his cell phone with a code instead of a name. They had a child together, and her other 2 lived with them as well.

I think that everyone has secrets in some way, but some people take it to the extreme, and take whatever they can get, no matter how much they have to lie, omit details, and scheme. We just have to be alert to the signs and signals, and not beat ourselves up over it if they're so smooth that they pull one over on us. They're just practiced, that's all...

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 11:56pm
What did you say to the rapist? Were you scared to death? I would have been!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 12:26am

It is scary to think about it. Can you imagine being the one married to that guy in florida that kidnapped that girl from the car wash? Or how about that guy a few years back that went out sniping innocent people out in public who were just pumping gas or vacuuming out thier cars?

But here is the scariest one that I've heard: The B.T.K. Killer in Wichita, Kansas (Dennis Rader) who murdered all those people in the 1970's and lived a regular life with a wife and kids for all those years. And to boot, he was a well respected member of his community church!

I can't imagine being the poor lady married to that whacko for all those years, and having personal belongings of the victims right there in the house all that time and not even know it. Scary stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 1:29am
That's an excellent question. Sometimes you don't find these things out for some time but I think usually your red flag alert goes off if you are good at paying attention to things that are off. But on the other hand, some people are profession b.s ers and wouldn't bat an eye while lying.
As far as I know no one I've dated has had any big secrets and if they did they hid them from me the whole time. I think though that one of my ex-boyfriends might have cheated on me or at least kissed and made out with women behind my back. I never found out if he did but he was always out late drinking consistently. Nothing major or shocking though with my exes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 1:35am
Yikes, those are some crazy stories! Those poor wives. I couldn't fathom being deceived like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 9:02am

It's sad to say, but some people are REALLY good at covering up the skeletons in their closets.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 7:37pm

Wow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 3:36am

It seems to be only men who keep secrets as huge as all that have been mentioned int his thread and I wonder why that is?

Also in connection with that men also seem to be the only ones who do senseless hurtful things...when I say senseless I mean a guy who kills tons of people for no reason, or rapes women, stalks women, dates women when he's married,etc etc etc.

As a man I have a theory on why men do so many senseless things and keep shocking secrets. I believe that everyone has a dark side and that men's dark side is worse then women's. And also I believe in general men are more prone to keep secrets because men feel they shouldnt open up to others and in turn keep everything inside and that takes a toll on someone. Whether it be cheating on a spouse or raping and killing many people...I think men let things build in them and become agressive and careless in their behavior after a certain period of time....I mean think about it how many women cheat in comparison to men? How many women have been serial killers, or shot up a school, or took ppl out with a sniper rifle or blown up a building etc etc etc.

I think that men as a whole have a lot more pent up aggression and emotional problems.

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