Having a blah day....
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| Fri, 05-25-2007 - 2:18pm |
I usually come on here and wish there were more actual "single and loving it posts, thinking that people should embrace their independence, blah blah blah, and for the most part, that's how I feel. But it's on an off day like this, I realize that that's when people WANT to post here for support...
I'm still hung up on the idea of a guy that I was dating last summer and kept in touch with...and today I found out that his new girlfriend's finally ADMITTING to being with him (yeah, I know, what a catch). It's not even ABOUT him though...it's feeling like I'm in a major rut and have only gone on, like, two dates since the thing with him ended last summer and they've both been pretty abysmal anyway. I know, I'm young, I'm 22, I have plenty of time, I do know that. But on the other hand, I'M 22...shouldn't I be out there, dating, playing the field, having fun, meeting at least SOME guys I like?? I live in the city, I go out...I just feel like I'm in a massive rut (more like a ravine, honestly) and it's starting to bring me down. A few of my friends have reminded me that it often comes in phases, when you're dating one person, five others come crawling out from nowhere (which was the case for me a year or so ago), and then when you're not, you're REALLY not....feast or famine of sorts. I know, I know, a year is not so bad, it just feels it....so I'm just venting...

I understand how you feel. I'm just shy of 25 and while I'm pretty thrilled with life in general and its direction, I do feel like I'm kind of stuck in a "social crack". My friends are all either married with children or they're bar flies. I have no desire to be married anytime soon but I'm certainly not the type to go drink it up with frat boys playing Beer Pong. There has to be a happy medium.
Where are the guys who want to grab coffee at 7pm on a Saturday at Barnes & Noble? Or get a martini at a jazz club? Heck, I'd love an educated, mature FRIEND who wants to discuss something other than their car or The OC.
This is the Dating Waiting Room - where you're past the point of the High School (or even college, for that matter) relationships where you'd date someone for months just because they were cute but you're not near the point of "settling down".
For me, the board is sort of like my journal - I only tend to write in my journal when I'm blue or upset. When I reread it, it makes my life sound so sad, but it's not. :)
When I am in a great mood, I'm out enjoying life and don't have time to write it all down. (Although I probably should). So, I agree with you that people need support and post more often in those blue or frustrated moments.
I think you summed up your feeling about the guy when you said you're "hung up on the idea of him." I do that as well -- I think back to my latest or best relationship when I'm lonely because it's my reference point for "not lonely." It doesn't mean you want that guy, but you want someone - and eventually (for me), the right someone.
It does sound like you're doing the right things by going out with friends to have fun. Maybe you just need to change things up a bit and add something new to your life -- a class, a new hobby, travel, whatever. Whether or not that something brings dates into your life, it can be a symbolic passage OUT of the rut. I have found that, often, when I make a conscious decision to break out of a routine and try something different, it opens so many more doors for new experiences and new people to come into my life.
Hugs to you on your blah day.
AJ, enjoying life with C.