he hasnt called

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2005
he hasnt called
4
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 10:35pm
Hi, first let me explain the situation. I met this guy two weeks ago. The first time I saw him I thought he was cute, but we barely talk. Last sunday, we met again. The other persons we were with left for a few second and he told me that he find me pretty, which took me by surprise. Later he ask for my phone number, suggesting we saw each other for a beer at some other time. I give hime my number and we continue talking for about an hour. He seemed very genuily interested, he ask for how long i have been single, stuff about relationship in general. He then walk me to my car, kiss me and tell me that he was happy to have a chance to get to know me better and to have had the courage to ask for my number, tell me again he will call me (I dont have his number) and then. It's friday night and still no news. Frankly, I just dont understand. He seem really interested and all... I dont understand why he wouldnt call. What is the deal. He thinks I am cute, spend some time with me and hated my personnality. I am so at a lost here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
In reply to: stelli11
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 11:05pm

I think there's an article somewhere on this site about why men don't call. It boiled it down to a few reasons. The ones I remember were that he might be a nervous wreck and trying to muster up the courage to call; things might have changed for him since he asked you for your number and is not as interested as he was back then; he was never that interested but got your number as a way to boost his own ego. I forget the others.

Did he say when he would call? If he doesn't tell you when he'll call, that's not a good sign in my opinion. It's been nearly a week since he got your number. I'd give him through the weekend and then assume he's not calling. Actually, if it were me, I'd start letting it go. I know guys can get nervous but I think when a guy is really interested in a girl, he won't twiddle his thumbs and let her get away. I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

I understand how frustrating it is because you had a promising feeling about this guy. Unfortunately, there's no way of knowing what's going on in his life or his mind. I hope he calls though. But prepare yourself now for the likelihood that you're just not going to hear from him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2005
In reply to: stelli11
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 11:21pm

thank you for your reply. He never mentionned when he would call back, but he kept saying that he wanted to see for a beer. But I guess that if he was interested he would have at least communicate with me. It is so frustating. Especially, since he took the first step and I somehow feel like he was playing a joke on me. I dont understand what was the point of asking for my number if was gonna call. The only hope i have left is that he will call me saturday to see me saturday night, which I am not sure is a good thing. Also, I will probably see him again this sunday since we are part of the same group of people who met to play cards ( I know it seems boring but it is actually quite amusing)or in two weeks.

The worst thing about it, is that I am seriously beguinning to doubt my instinct about whether or not a man is interested in me. Obviously, I have not a clue which might explain why i have been single for so long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
In reply to: stelli11
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 12:43am

Don't second-guess yourself--some people are just impossible to read.

I've had my fair share of similar situations--thinking someone was interested only to never hear from him again. I'm not suggesting that this guy you talked to isn't interested. He still may call, or he may have an explanation for why he didn't call. But recently, I got out of a brief fling with a guy who early on had professed that he had feelings for me, that he had never developed such strong feelings for someone so quickly, etc. and in the end, he freaked out and basically dumped me. I don't know what goes through guy's minds, but I think sometimes, they mistake infatuation with deeper feelings only to wake up and realize that they're not as into the girl as they thought they were. It's hard on us women because (and I can only speak for myself) once we develop "feelings" they're pretty durable and not likely to ebb and flow by the day or hour.

I'm just trying to make sense of things for you. Again, if and when you see him, maybe there will be a perfectly acceptable explanation. For your sake, I hope so, but I also want you to be aware that men can be extremely flighty with respect to their "feelings."

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: stelli11
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 10:09am

My suggestion is once you give a guy your number, forget about him.