Is he interested?
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| Sat, 06-09-2007 - 6:37pm |
Hey all!
My friends and I have been going to this place that's part lounge, part restaurant, part dance club...we've been three times in the past three months. It's our new hang out spot, though we're trying not to go too frequently, so as not to get tired of it. We're all single and in our late 20's. While we're not necessarily LOOKING for a man, we all hope to one day soon say goodbye to singledom...we're open to the possibilities. This place has a great mix of people, from 20's to 40's...all walks of life. Lemme get to my point...
The last three times I went, there's been this guy, one of the security guys (do they still call them bouncers???LOL!) who has expressed interest in me. I really don't know whether or not he's really just flirting, or if he's genuinely interested in getting to know me. The first time we met, he just stared a lot, in a sort of mezmerized way, but never asked me for my number or a date. My friend who was with me thinks that he didn't say more because I gave off a strong vibe of "not interested". I have to admit, I wasn't really interested at first because I figured it was all game. That same night, he came around to "check on me", asking me if I was ok...I thought that was sweet.
The second time I went there, I was actually on a date with someone else and didn't speak to him that night. I know he saw me, though, because I caught him looking. Last night, my third time there, he smiled and spoke and kind of "checked on me" all night. I saw him talking to one of his fellow security guys, and pointing at me but, still no, 'can I call you sometime..."
What should I make of this? Is the guy interested or just flirting? I think I'm interested in getting to know him better; however, I'm not the type to be the aggressor...also, I'm not going to start going every weekend, just in the hopes that he'll make a move. What can I do, the next time I go, to find out if he's truly interested? Should I go next weekend, or wait a few weeks?
Mali
Edited 6/9/2007 6:43 pm ET by mali2579

Well, I would say that you need to make some sort of move here.
From your post, you're doing nothing at all to indicate YOUR interest, so in all fairness, why should HE be the one to do the cold-calling?
Next time you're there, go up and just talk to him. See what happens. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
You need to give him some sort of sign that you are interested in getting to know him. Right now, he probably has no idea. I'd say buy him a drink, but if he's a bouncer, that wouldn't work. You could give him your number on the way out one night, but keep in mind that this is a favorite haunt of yours. If he doesn't call, would you be okay with seeing him on a semi-regular basis? Find a reason to pass by him the next time you're there, then just strike up a conversation. You could start off with something witty . . . Flip the script and ask him if he's "okay" ; )
I don't see any harm in going next weekend. He'd be crazy to think that you were there for the sole purpose of seeing him.