is he interested in me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2012
is he interested in me?
9
Fri, 12-21-2012 - 9:42pm

Hello All!

There is a guy that I like. We flirt --or so i think-- eye contact, touching indirectly, smiling, etc.... People think that we should date since we "act like we're married" sometimes.... Anytime we fight the person in the wrong does apologize and we are fine after.. Just recently he was having a bad day and so was I and he snapped at me.. and later on he was saying how he didn't understand why I am letting a certain situation get to me and I said I'm sorry I'm just having a bad day and he said "and I know it didn't help that I snapped at you.." I didn't say anything but later he apologized for snapping at me... We don't fight THAT often (once or twice a month?) ...

Anyway, recently I was talking about my family and how my dad loves to annoy me. And I was telling the guy I like a story about how my dad said something that was exactly the same thing he told me... and then he looks at me and his face just lights up and he says "sounds like me and your dad would get along"... I couldn't help but blush and say "yes, I guess you would, unfortunately." And then another time we were talking he was making fun of me cuz I had looked like I had just gotten outta bed... I was a little self conscious about it but then he kept saying "I think you look fine..." and then a week later he was like "just make sure u don't look like how you did that one day..." and i got mad and then again he started laughing saying "you looked fine, not alot of people can get away without wearing makeup but you can..." then he asks "you don't wear makeup, right?" I'm like no just eyeliner and lip gloss..... idk if he was trying to compliment me or what.. it was kinda funny, because he is quite a confident guy but idk if he was nervous or what... Anyway, what do you think? Thanks

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 12-21-2012 - 10:27pm

It's my opinion that if a guy likes you, he'll eventually ask you out.  

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 12-21-2012 - 11:35pm
Is he single? Because that sounds like a situation I was in with a guy a few years ago. My friends all told me he was flirting, but since he never asked me out, I was sure he wasn't. Turns out he was married. He just likes the attention women give him. Some guys are super slow to move from one step to another, but if he is interested- and I can't really tell from what you've posted- he won't take the chance that someone else will snap you up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 12-22-2012 - 12:00pm

Sounds like he likes you as a friend.  You don't say how long you have known each other--for some guys it takes a while, but if it has been long enough to get to know you well, then I think if he wanted to date you, he'd ask you.  Men aren't really that complicated.  I am one of those people who likes to stand back & observe how others interact.  I take dance lessons so I see how the sinlge guys there act if they like someone--believe me, if a guy is interested in a girl, he'll take steps.  Like last night I saw one guy giving a card to a girl--I think it was his phone no.  Or another time, I walked out of a dance w/ a friend and there was a guy & girl standing there talking so we walked up to them as the guy was saying to the girl "do you want to go get a drink of wine?"  She thought he was being friendly in general, but I said "Uh, no, he wants to ask you out--not all of us."  You have to look at the situation objectively--has this guy done anything to show that he's interested in you as more than a friend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Sun, 12-23-2012 - 10:22am
In a way, posts like this always make me appreciate being a guy. She has all of this heavy analysis of his every move noted that would even make a research scientist proud, yet she sits back partially agonizing while strongly hoping he is interested and he will do something. A guy's thought process is - hey, I like her. "Would you like to meet for a glass of wine?"
To chime in with the conversation - there are only two signs a guy wants to date you - he will ask you out because he thinks you are great and doesn't want another guy to swoop in....or he will invite you to something like a party or gathering, then ask you out soon after that if all seems good.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 12-23-2012 - 11:03am

I think the problem comes when every guy's definition of "soon" is different.  For some, waiting two days to ask a woman out is a long time.  For some, two weeks, and for others two months.  We get frustrated at finding out we waited for a guy who turned out not to be interested, or that we passed on a guy who was interested because we didn't think he was interested because he waited too long.  I start to get impatient at about a month of flirting/guessing.  Some women have more patience than I do, though. 

I do know, from having a close guy friend, that not all men will ask a woman out right away.  I also know from being a woman that that's not a good move!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2012
Sun, 12-23-2012 - 1:06pm
Thanks for replying everyone...I can understand why he won't ask me out right away... I've known him for almost a year... And up until 2 months ago i was married... now im separated... I was with him for almost 4 years ....so naturally he didnt ask me out ... He does little things for me that others notice he doesn't do it for others, he's checked me out before , he says stuff to compare me and him or our lives to show we are similar... In a normal situation , yeah I'd think the same thing he'd ask me out if he really likes me but i thought maybe he's waiting until the right time....i just asked this to get others' opinions... I been Tryin to play it cool with him.. At the same time I don't want him thinking I'm crazy for liking him after recently being separated ..
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 12-24-2012 - 5:32pm

A lot of people, including me, don't want to date someone who is just separated & not divorced.  It's still up in the air whether you'll end up divorced or get back together and people figure that the first person you date after the divorce is going to be the rebound person and it won't work out.  Generally I'd also say that a person is not ready to date after only being separated for 2 months--I know that sometimes people have checked out of the marriage in their minds before the actualy separation but you really need some time alone without dating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2012
Tue, 12-25-2012 - 8:02pm

In my opinion it sounds like he is subtly flirting with you. He knows you are recently separated and just might be "throwing his hat into the ring" to let you know that if you are eventually single that he is out there.

But, also, since you are recently separated it wouldn't be a good idea to dive right into another relationship. It is always best to be by yourself for a while before jumping back into the dating scene.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012
Tue, 01-01-2013 - 5:38am

Solid male flirting going on there. He's complimenting you but also trying to negate it a bit to not seem too desperate to gush over you. You're taking it seriously, but he's teasing you about the makeup. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if he really likes you, he doesnt really care about your makeup, clothes or shoes. You are overanalyzing. If he likes you, for all he cares, you can trip and fall in a pile of mud and still look good without makeup. Men however do understand that women take great effort in makeup and clothes (especially shoes), none of which really matters to them, so if the opportunity presents to tease/flirt about those items, that oppotunity will be used.