He Was Drunk When We Had "The Talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
He Was Drunk When We Had "The Talk"
6
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 12:57pm

Just to refresh people's memories -- I posted here not too long ago about being in a FWB situation with a pretty decent friend of mine who was new to town. He had made it very clear that he was not really in a place to have a girlfriend (he had just moved to town, no job, no steady place to live, etc.). I was starting to develop some feelings for him, but was trying to be respectful of the fact that he didn't want to date. I told him that I was not looking for a boyfriend either, that I didn't want to date right now, etc.

So last night he invited me over and cooked me dinner and then we went out for drinks with his roommate. He had been drinking while he was cooking and we had wine with dinner, so by the time we got to the bar he was a little buzzed. A drink or two later and he was flat out drunk. He chose that time to ask me what I wanted out of this, and that he liked me in "that way" and wanted to be in a relationship (he said he was not looking for a girlfriend, but I had all the qualities he wanted and couldn't help it). While that is all fine and good, he was drunk and I can't help but wonder if he wouldn't have said those things if he wasn't drunk. Can I really trust what he said or should I just write it off as drunk rambling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 1:34pm
Maybe he intended to all along and just thought he needed a bit of Dutch courage to help him out.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 1:50pm

I would confirm that he meant what he said in a conversation held when you're both sober ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 4:33pm
I was sober so I remember the evening well... I'm just not sure whether or not he is going to remember it! I feel a little funny bringing up the conversation to him if he was drunk and not meaning to say it. I certainly don't want to put him on the spot. Should I just wait and see whether he mentions it?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 4:42pm

No, I would definitely bring it up. Better to know if he meant it than not know, IMO! A simple, "hey, I'm curious as to whether you meant what you said the other night or if it was just the alcohol talking" should work.

Sheri

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 5:34pm
I think it's a good sign that he cooked for you on Valentine's Day, that was really sweet. As for your question, why don't you broach the subject with him while he's lucid? This way, you won't have to wonder.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 7:16pm

Why not put him on the spot?