Heartbroken – The final chapter
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| Fri, 04-28-2006 - 4:30am |
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsinglelovi&msg=6460.1
For anyone who has been following this story I can finally reveal how it ends. I saw her at the gym on Tuesday and she asked me if I had received her text. Apparently she did reply but it never got to me so I suppose I must concede that text messages can and do get lost in the ether. She never told me what she wrote but explained that she needed to be with a friend who had just split up with her b/f, a true story. The following day I got a text from her. It was an invitation to celebrate her birthday, Thursday, Friday or both, she even ended it with XX’s. I thought this was encouraging but I was seriously mistaken.
She spent most of the night dancing with someone she had worked with in her previous job, sometimes they got so close their lips almost touched. We left the club and got a bite to eat and by that time there were only the three of us remaining but I sensed they wanted to be alone. I was slowly escorted to a taxi and as it pulled away I looked back and saw they were kissing and making their way back to his house. My heart sank. I have tickets to tonight’s “celebration” and I assured her I would be attending but I really don't want to go now.

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Well said.
It is most definitely a learining experience and I think even if he had acted faster, it was probably something bound to happen because of her character.
Hal, you are better off. You may not see it now, but you'll look back and be glad you saw the forest through the sleeze.
Be glad you were meant to see things for how they really are.
Being a ballroom dancer, I am going to relate your response, liyahberry, to dancing.
In ballroom dancing, the male has to lead and lead clearly. When he hesitates or gives a weak lead, the female is unsure about how to follow and will stumble the step. This is not her error, but his.
Now, I know that dating is not as clear as this, but I use it as a guideline and truthfully, I am looking for a partner (in a relationship and on the dance floor) who has a strong lead.
Hal, you were a weak lead. Teach yourself to lead 2 or 3 steps (dates) very well and the rest will fall into place.
Do well. :)
A good analogy. The point is that a woman must make it clear that she wants to dance with me.
I would be able to move on if it had not been for Stacey posting updates about her crush because I can't help drawing a parallel between her situation and mine. I play the part of "The crush" and Stacey plays the part of "Gym woman". (Hope you don’t mind Stacey)
I decided to attend the Friday night celebrations and I had a great time. I had nauseating thoughts that gym woman would turn up with her former colleague but he wasn’t there. I’m also all but certain that she didn’t end up going home with him. I gathered this from a few incidental conversations early on in the night.
Gym woman brought along her close friend (who recently split from her b/f) and I spent a lot of time talking and dancing with her. Every now and again gym woman would call me up to dance with her, and I mean night-club type dancing as opposed to Ballroom dancing or Boot Scootin' Boogie! At the end of the night, gym woman asked me how I was getting home and I said I was going to walk, but she insisted I get a lift home with her and her friend.
Here is the hook. The next day I received this text message from gym woman:- Hi Hon, How are you today? :-) I am having a fab birthday weekend. Just wanted to say thanks for coming out and being a part of it. Catch up soon. Biggest hugs x
I suppose there really isn’t much in that message but it caused me to think more about what happened on Thursday night and why or perhaps it is just denial. But I can imagine being in the position of Stacey’s crush and thinking, “Why isn’t this woman paying more attention to me” and “Why is she only dancing with my friend”, oblivious to the fact that she really has a crush on him. Maybe I haven’t made my interest in gym woman clear enough, to the point where she now believes that I am really not interested.
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Ya think?
if I give my number to a guy and he doesn't call to ask me out, I figure HE'S NOT FREAKIN INTERESTED.
That is exactly the vibe you've sent.
Now either CALL her and ask her out, or ask her IN PERSON. Or drop it.
OK?
Ok.. sticking with the ballroom analogy... if a woman is at a dance, she is there to dance. Conversation with a friend is only filling in the space between the dances.
I think this woman is sending you crystal clear messages that she is interested. But the only way you will know for sure is grab the phone, call her and ask would you like to go to dinner with me?
Life is about risk and you have to take a chance.
Still? We've had this conversation with Hal.
I don't think he's going to do it. I just don't think he's going to do it.
I think rather than guessing and harping on the subject, he might as well just drop it because I just don't think he's going to call her and ask her.
Text messages don't do it. Call her, Hal. Pops there still is a chance, but you'll never know if you keep over analyzing everything.
No, no, no!
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