Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Help
5
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 7:51am
I just don't know what to do. Dating this guy for 2mo and he want's to spend the whole weekend with me. There are times when I would like to have a Sat or Sun by myself. I don't want to scare him of
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 8:33am
How 'bout something along the lines of "in order for me to really enjoy our time together, there I things I have to take care of around my place so they aren't weighing on my mind".


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 2:15pm

I think at this point, you have already hurt him by leaving while he was sleeping. In all honesty, what did you really need to get done at midnight on Saturday?

In the beginning, it is hard to find a middle ground with still having time to yourself and spending time with a guy you really like. I felt the same way when I first started to date my ex. But if you really like the guy and not want to risk loosing him, you kind of have to surrender to letting yourself fall for him. To me, it sounds more like you are scared of letting yourself feel something for somebody, then finding enough time for yourself. But that is just my opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 3:29pm

Hawkeye,


Do I ever know what you're talking about! The same thing, similarly, happened to me while I was dating my most recent x-boyfriend. We were going out for a year, met July 2006, I broke up with him July 2007. He is a farmer. He told me from the very beginning that there will be times when we can't see each other often because of crops coming in etc. I told him, cool, no problem, that's when all my tomatoes come in anyway and I won't have a whole lot of time either cuz I'll be making all my salsa's and spaghetti sauces.


I also explained about the various fruit seasons etc. Long story short..... in the winter

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 6:02am
Your personal time is important. Just level with him. He should understand. Even if he's upset at first, you'll be much better off in the long run for having been completely honest.
Anne
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 7:07am
Thanks for all the suggestions, I'm two months into this relationship, I think I should have laid my boundary in the beginging. Yes I am affarid of this relationship , because in the past they were all toxic. He's such a nice person and dosen't deserve this treatment, but then again there's time when I need space without looking to try to blow him off. Thanks again