HELP end my OBSESSION over him
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| Sun, 06-24-2007 - 2:28am |
so i'll get right down to it. i'm in college and just finished my second year. I've never had a boyfriend just the crazy make out at parties. I never let anything get further than kissing. yes i'm still a virgin and still quite innocent to compared to all of my friends. lets get to it_________________
So heres the story i'll try and make it short. I have a tendency to obsess over guys, i cant stop its quite annoying. Well last january one of my closes friends, Candice took me out for a really crazy night and we hung out with one of her guy friends charlie. Well as the night progressed we got really intoxicated and things kinda got out of control. I decided to stay over at charlies place. But when i realized what i was doing i just couldnt let my first time happen like this. So i stopped the situation and he took me home. Well he seemed to be fine with what happened... so about 2 weeks later he invited me to one of his party and we kept-ed hanging out ( only when we were drinking)i thought everything was fine but moving very slow... well couple weeks later we met up and the night ended when i got sick and blacked out in front of him. I heard he was really upset with me and i apologized ....things came to a stand still and about a month later he invited me over again. After talking to him in April I knew he saw me at my worst and I really mest up that night and didnt think i had a chance with him.....
now to the present we havent talked and i'm completely infatuated with him. But the whole time i feel as though i'm too innocent for him and he knows too much about me ( the whole virgin thing) / i'm too much work.
Anyways its now june and almost 6 months i haven't been able to get him off my mind he is the most irrestable guy ever and i dont know what to do... it doesnt help he has a girlfriend now that is 10x the partyer i am and he takes care of her when she gets sick from her wild night / and takes her back when she cheats on him. So Candice, who is very close to Charlie, tells me i deserve better and i need to get over it. but i still have this idea i can get him and tame this badboyness. Or maybe i might be so obsessed by him cuz he is the only guy has ever made me feel like that first night...
I dont know what to do ... do u think should i go after him in the fall, when school start.. or well some how stop obsessing and get over it. And well i'll tell you i've never obsessed over a guy like this . He's always on my mind and it needs to stop one way or another....

You need a distraction. Do you get out alot? Meaning, are you out meeting new people?
Make some new friends, meet some new guys. This guy has a girlfriend and it seems he isn't quite persuing you. As soon as he pops into your head you need to replace him with something else. I mean the second you think of him, you need to have something already prepared to replace him with; be that ice cream, Johnny Depp, a favorite book, a pet, a new pair of shoes, music, art, cinema . . .
I feel for you. I have a tendency to do the same exact thing. Trust me, move on now! I say this because I'm 31 and still do this! Don't end up like me in your 30's! haha But seriously, I am teaching myself when I obsess over a guy to try to do anything else like the other post said. I go for a walk, read, watch a good movie, call a friend, and just try to stay busy. Heck, sometimes I even just take a nap.
From what you wrote, you really are a lot better than this guy and deserve better. And give yourself some credit: you were strong enough to not sleep with him when you could have. You are much stronger than you think you are and deserve someone who appreciates that.
Good luck!
Michelle
It's going to be a long haul getting over him. I know how you feel! We are in the same boat.
I just finished my freshman year of college, and I too am a virgin. I have never had a real serious boyfriend either. I work in a gas station when I come home on the weekends and the summer before that I worked full time, and attended community college. At my store I met this guy named Russell, who knew my shift managers (Tami is his mom's best friend, and Tina's daughter is a good friend of his). Russell is a great guy don't get me wrong but when he asked me for my number he waited a week to call, then he preceeded to get annoyed with me if I was too busy to go out. He asked me for my number in October, we didn't start dating till March of this year. Anyway so he came up to my dorm with his best friend Joe, who hit it off automatically with my roommate Stacy. Russell and I double dated with Joe and Stacy, we drank, partied, did EVERYTHING with them! We dated for about a month, and never made it 'official' he told me he didn't believe in a relationship or the labels 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend' he only believed in being exclusive. Anyway he told me he just wanted to be friends after a large fight we had, That same day and phone calle I had called him APOLOGIZING and taking the blame (it takes alot to admit I'm wrong). Anyway so here I am obsessing over him, and Stacy and I go to Joe's house with the knowledge that Russ will be there and we will be drinking. I get drunk off my ass, and did something I am not proud of (not sex but I feel its more degrating). So anyway that made the situation even worse. I seen him everyday at work, now I work nights and he comes in sometimes but distancing myself from the problem makes it easier. I also read alot to get him off of my mind. It's summer vacation for both of us so having no classes to occupy us makes it hard. I have a really hard time with it also because Joe and Stacy talk alot about him, I just turn a deaf ear and ignore it. I guess my advice is no matter how awesome this guy is, try distancing yourself a bit, not completely still talk to him, just try to put a buffer between you and him. My manager told me that men respond best to silence. Which I have learned is true, since Russell doesn't see me anymore he puts on a huge act everytime he does. Anyway I know my advice is vague but I hope it helps! Let me know how it goes!