Help!! Family wanted

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Help!! Family wanted
8
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 9:36am
Hi. my name is Duncan and I need help. I feel I'm a family man trapped in a singles man's life. I hear it all the time that I'm great with kids and would be a wonderful dad someday. I'm hoping someday is very soon. I've really lost interest in going out to bars to try to meet women, because they have gotten so much younger these days. I'm 37 and and stable, fun, giving,easy going, and have a great sense of humor and the ability to make people feel very at ease with me and really do want a family. I would love to meet someone that all ready has some expereince with kids in case another one comes along down the line. I'm for real and was hoping that this web site might put me in touch with someone to really fall for and enjoy everything a child has to offer. I'm in Wilmington, NC and would love some help with me problem
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 10:00am

Hey, there,


I'm Stacey, one of the community leaders on this board.


This isn't a dating site, so I don't think you can post a "want ad" on here (I'll have to check with the TOS), but we'd certainly be more than happy to chat with you about the trials and tribulations of living The Single Life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 10:01am

Duncan,

First off have you read some books on dating etc?

One that I reviewed to give myself a better perspective was:

Date...or Soul Mate? How To Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing In Two Dates Or Less by Neil Clark Warren

Very good and insitefull book.

Then what dating sites are you on? How does your profile read AND what types of pics of you are on there? Are you in good to average physical shape, do you smoke and do you try to excerise a few times at least through a week? In my PAST dating experience, ALL of these are very prevalent.

Remember that who you meet at bar is not always the same person the rest of the time -- remember that even you are not the same person -- what do I mean --

Alcohol changes our demeanor... So when you are talking with Bobbie Sue at the bar and having lots of fun -- it might be the alcohol that has her more talkative and outgoing... Or it could be the alcohol that allowed you to say that one too many things that screwed up your chance with Bobbie Sue... (all thoughts to consider)... that is why I never went looking for a mate in a bar. Had lots of fun dancing -- BTW, do you dance? Women love to dance!!! If not -- consider moving forward with at least feeling more comfortable on the dance floor.

Maybe there are women on this forum that will concur with me that so often they just love the guy BUT WISH he would dance with her -- besides when he is sooo drunk that finally at a wedding he will dance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 10:24am
My boyfriend likes to dance - it's so much fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 11:27am

My best advice is to go where the women are - and it's not just the bars.

I think one of the best places to meet good people, and perhaps a soul mate along the way, is volunteering. Find a cause you care about, and volunteer at a one-day project to see if it's a good fit for you. At every volunteer project I've done, the women far outnumber the men. That includes the outdoor projects that involve fairly heavy labor (I was surprised at that).

It's a good place to meet people who care about the world and other people - and that often means family-oriented people. It's also a very non-threatening environment for starting a conversation with someone and suggesting meeting for lunch afterward.

Just one thought. Other places are fun classes, art showings, concerts, online dating, etc.

There are a lot of women out there looking for a family-oriented man - so your odds are good. Now, you just have to get out there and meet them. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2007
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 11:36am

Hi Duncan.


Welcome to Love & Sex on iVillage.com.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 11:39am
Thanks, good advice. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 12:28pm
I think tallgirl gave you some great advice on where to meet women besides bars. Also let your friends know that you are looking and so then if they meet or know someone that might click with you they will know that you are ok with being set up.
Like others said, you are not alone in wanting a family but just not meeting that one yet. My boyfriend met me when he was 36 and he's very much the family-type of man and he never thought he would meet anyone either and was getting beyond frustrated of going to bars too, but I found him on an online dating site.
Good luck to you. It isnt' an easy dating world out there but if you keep on trying and not giving up you will find that person.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 12:48am
D.Breezy, just wanted to second tallgirls thoughts!! Great ideas . . .