Help me before I ruin my chance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
Help me before I ruin my chance.
2
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 5:12pm
Everyone, I need your help. I have no idea what to make of any of the past 3 weeks. To give you some sort of reference I should tell you that I am 27 years old and live by myself. I have tried to live with OCD as long as I can remember and for the past few years have been dealing with depression. My last relationship was almost two years ago. Up until Monday I was still not over her. I would think about her and miss her constantly. 3 weeks from this upcoming Monday I met the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen. For the first time, I had no intentions of meeting her. I always start every day and excursion out, with the thoughts that I might meet someone new. Not this time. I had gotten to work and meet with the director to start my new position after my promotion. He told me that I would not be going through the training like everyone else starting the position would. I would be in a meeting with my boss and a couple other coworkers from the Canada office while they were in town. I was assigned to help this lady for the time that they were here. Over the next couple days I was amazed at how beautiful she was and what a great personality she had. She was smart. She had ambitions. And she was a looked. She asked me about myself and acted real interested in what I had to say. We had a conversation one day when we had to pick up some supplies about what there was to do her in town. What good restaurants there were in town. I felt like these were all opportunities blown to talk with her. At our next stop I was going to ask her to get together when she had a chance but lost my nerve and didn't ask her after making a big production about it. I had told her that it might not be appropriate during work or it may be too personal. She egged me on to ask her and finally I through out the following question - How do you feel about the war in Iraq? She looked caught off guard and disappointed. While riding the elevator up she pushed the button for our floor and saw me leaning against the back of the elevator and moved next to me. The next couple of days she came by to say hi when time permitted. On Friday she held the door open for me and I brushed against her and apologized. I swear I heard her say "That's okay, it felt good." I was so caught off guard that I couldn't believe and ask her what she said. The group left later that day and we had an awkward do we shake or hug moment were we both turned red. Then she came back the following Monday. She asked me how my weekend was and told me about hers. She looked so interested while she asked questions. And then I sad it "Would you like to get together and grab dinner one night. Her face got so red when she smiled and said yes. I gave her my number and she asked if we could get some sushi since she had been wanting it since last week. Wednesday came and still no word. When she smiled around me or when I asked her questions she would turn red. That night before I left for the day I spoke to her and told her how serious I had been when I had asked her about spending time together and if it had made her uncomfortable that we could forget about. She apologized and said that on trips like this the project manager pretty much has them working until 830-9 at the office and more work at the hotel and dinner with the clients. I'm not sure if maybe I had read everything wrong as usual and made a fool of myself. Friday came and it was time to say goodbye. It was an awkward moment again. We stared at each other and it looked like neither one of us knew what to do. I finally throw my hand out there for a shake, when she again turned red and grabbed my hand with a very firm grasp with both her hands and told me that next time we would definitely "hangout." She hasn't called me and most of her emails are very professional. So I have no idea, do I pursue this or lay it to rest. I can't stop thinking about her. But I have in the past mistaken kindness for attraction. As days pass by I feel more sure that I misread everything. Why would she be interested in me? I'm out of shape and she is gorgeous. Please help me with this. What do I do next?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 5:53pm

Two things to do differently next time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 6:06pm
So should I let this go or should I tell her exactly how I feel?