Help me from Jealousy Monster(Ego stroking)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Help me from Jealousy Monster(Ego stroking)
26
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 11:30am

I am sorry but I never thought I was the jealous type but so far sis has been seeing that new guy.. Its been about three dates and although he is a geek of sorts and not her type at all I am jealous.. I never thought I was the jealous type but when I look at her I dont see anyone that great or attractive or anything.. I know I know I am going to hell for saying t his about her but I just dont get it.

I did hear her on the phone last night with him and I do know that she does have a way of stroking a guy's ego. Maybe that is the key to love..... Just being in constant state of ego stroking and you can get any man.. I

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Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 12:01pm

Ahh you have found her secret!

chaika

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 12:01pm
I do think that a lot of men need constant reminders that we think they are wonderful. I think women need them, too. It's about reminding each other of why you're together and that you see the good things. In our society, we put each other down and criticize so much. When you're trying to decide if you want to stick with someone for the long haul and spend every day together, you really want to know that person is a positive and supportive person. Not someone who will put you down the second you make a mistake or gain a pound.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 12:08pm

There is a saying that a person will fall in love with someone who makes them feel good when they are around them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 12:25pm

Thank you guys

well CFK .. I think you are right in that I can as we say fake it till I make it.. Make believe I am happy for her and then it will become my truth..

Its not that I am not happy for her .. I think its more that I have done all of the hard work going out for years and have not met anyone but men fall in her lap.. That is what makes me the most upset..

Anyway; I was also thinking that the strong survive and

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 12:58pm

Original post deleted.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 12:59pm

That green goblin will get you every time. I know it's hard. I am working through something similar, myself. I have an ex-relative who's a despicable person and yet, all of these wonderful things keep happening to them. They are moving on, happy as a lark and every time I hear their name I want to vomit. I have to get over it...I'm only hurting myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 1:12pm

Hi

Too bad we didnt live closer cause then we could wallow in our pity together.. Two heads are better than one.

Hang In and I will do the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 1:32pm

Ha ha your posts always want to make me feel like jumping off of a bridge (go figure)

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 1:58pm

Put the coffee on, Free, I'll be there in a mere 15 hours ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Sun, 04-15-2012 - 2:27pm

Free,

think about it this way: it's been only 3 dates, I means NOTHING !

and would you go out with this guy yourself ? I'm sure that all of us would be in a relationship if we decided to lower our standards in some ways.

I often see couples where the woman would be way less attractive than me, yet with a husband (and a pretty attractive at that) and kids and looking all happy. And I do kind of feel jealous, but just remind myself that my time didn't come. Try to do the same, remember my grandma got remarried in her 60s.

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