help! Need to win him over!!!!
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| Sun, 09-18-2005 - 8:27pm |
Ok I've been dating someone for about a month, since I moved here. I like him. Infact, he's really the only thing I like about this place. So he told me last night he wants to date me, but he also wants to date (and do other things with) lots of other people (and I know he's at least been out with one other person).
So here's the thing, I need to make it so he ONLY wants me. I'm not going to be seeing him for over a week anyway, so there is time to put my plan into action. Here are the ideas I have, and I need more. I'm sure some of you have succeeded at this, clue me in. And guys, imput strongly needed!
1. Vamp up my health/fitness and basically lose weight. Many of you know I am big fitness enthusiast, but also on the larger scale, and haven't not looked my absolute best for about a year now. That's all going to change. I'm upping my workout instensity tomorrow (which I was planning on anyway), and the frequency ( from 5 to 7 days per week). And I am cutting my caloric intake to 1500 calories (I already eat the right types of foods). So basically my plan is to just look hot.
2. Make him jealous. I'm on match.com now, basically writing back to everyone who has written since I've been seeing him (and thus didn't respond to). I am going on as many dates as possible and tell him alllll about it!
3. Improve my skills...you know...in bed. I think I've already made some improvements. I know he had a REALLY good time last night.
4. then I have to find just the right balance of ignoring him and doing incredibly sweet things for him (CDs, cookies, etc.). You know, confuse the hell out of him.
Now I just need the rest from you!!!

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Hi Buggie,
>I just don't want him out dating and having sex
>with other girls.Is that so much to ask?
Only one way to find out. Ask him, then come back and give us the answer.
I don't think you will ever win him over. He is having a great time dating and having sex with other girls. What makes you think you are better than them?
Ok, brutal truth here... if he is sleeping with you as well as sleeping with other women, you're going to get a disease.
If he doesn't want to commit to you, move on. Why be put at his convenience?
I know this is going to sound really crazy but, I have to ask.......
I have been with someone on and off for a while. Before we started this on and off stuff we were together for 4 years. We've had difficulty trying to make it work and he has seen other people in the process. I still love him and always will. Your relationship with your guy sounds very similar to my guy. I'm wondering if there is any chance that this is a huge coincidence, I'm sure it is. But, being me I still have to ask you, nothing specific, but do you live in northern Michigan?
It's very odd to me that we could live so close and be talking about the same guy. I highly doubt it. But, I would like to know, and I'm sure you would to.
Well.....
I can understand how you feel about him.
There really isn't any good advice in a situation like this. I completely understand how you feel. But, it's a difficult situation. I think that you are on the right track in trying to get him to notice you more. But at the same time I agree with some of what the others have said. You have to know that you are important and trying to make yourself into something that he wants is a touchy situation. You have to believe in yourself and respect yourself at the end of the day.
Have you asked yourself why this guy? Why is this guy so important for you to want to be with so much? You've only known him for a month. Do you really know that much about him yet?
I know that I am not the perfect person to give advice. I just admitted to you that I have been in a difficult situation myself and I am still trying to figure out what I am doing. I still love him and don't want to let him go. It's very difficult for me. But at some point you have to realize that you are a person to, you deserve respect, love, caring and everything else that goes along with it.
Good luck
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