He's Moving Away ! (Whiskey shot?)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
He's Moving Away ! (Whiskey shot?)
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 7:10pm
Hello friends,

It's been a while since I've posted on iVillage. I now work in a museum and there is a man who volunteers there. He's close to me in age - mid-30's - cute, smart ... When I've spoken to friends about him, they all say that he's "kinda weird...but *good* weird". They are careful to throw that part in there. I can see how there is something a little off-beat about his personality. He seems somehow insecure yet I'm intensely attracted to him.

Yesterday he told me that he's leaving Chicago and going back to NJ to be closer to his family. He said he'd quit his job three months earlier. (!!) I asked what he's been doing and he said something, "Doing my own thing." (I get the impression that his family is very wealthy.) But he's moving to be closer to them, closer to home and may have another job prospect there.

I'll admit I was upset when I learned all this because since last Christmas I'd started to develop feelings for him. We've spoken on the phone and I think that he, like myself, is a solitary person. He said this. But I also think that similarily he might suffer from some depression or *something*.

Should I just leave well enough alone and wish him luck on going back home? There is nothing I can do, really, to keep him here. I don't even know if he likes me _that way_. (I know this whole message is strange.) If you were me, would you just swallow your feelings and not act on them by a letter or anything and just wait until the next guy comes along? Andy seems to need time to take care of Andy. I don't want to call him repeatedly or email or anything. He is pretty much saying he is retreating to the home to be in a supportive environment. I've done this too: simply quit a job and left a state. People only do that kind of thing when things are desperate, right?

I don't even know what I'm asking. Just needing some advice, I think.

Thanks. *hugs*


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 11:54pm
"If you were me, would you just swallow your feelings and not act on them by a letter or anything and just wait until the next guy comes along?"

yeah, that's probably what i'd do. however, i don't think that's the RIGHT thing to do.

holdin' stuff in never gets me anywhere i wanna go...

Avatar for rdr1898
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 07-23-2003 - 10:48pm
Yeah, I agree that it's not the right thing to do to just let things lie as they will. Have you discussed this with your friend, Andy? If this is really bothering you, and you feel that there's nothing both of you can do about it, I'd say MOVE ON. It seems like it really is bothering you with the way you explained your dilemma.

I too know how it feels to move away or to have someone I was close to move away. It's a big fat bummer, but it's part of life. As the saying goes, people come into our lives for a reason, and they leave our lives for a reason. We can question it until the cows come home. Unless you've talked to the one you miss and all your options have been layed on the table, you'll just keep hitting your head against the wall wondering, why?

But from my own experience, it's best to keep your distance. As many have advised on a similar subject: if he wants to contact you, he'll find a way if he's really interested. Good luck.