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| Mon, 06-26-2006 - 11:09am |
Some of you may remember me from a while back being on the Single Life board, I was sort perusing the IVillage boards and thought I'd pop on here and say hello.
I'm back in Atlanta now (I moved from Chicago in December) but I am seriously, seriously thinking of moving back to Chi-town around March/April. Things are going well here, minus a messy on/off relationship I was having with an ex that I'm finally out of. I'm still plugging away on my children's books (working the corporate day job in the meantime) and I've recently signed up to volunteer with abused horses at a rescue facility, I start in July 8th and I'm very excited about it.
I'm still on my "one date wonder" streak (that is my nickname among my friends), I'm not sure which is worse, meeting guys you have no interest in and wondering where a decent guy is or meeting guys you actually like (in my case, have a great date with) who say they are going to call you and then never do?
Does anyone ever get annoyed by this? When you vent to one of your friends about the frustrations of being single and their response is how you don't need a man to make you happy, that you just have to focus on your life, yada yada. Of course I know I don't need a man to make me happy and I have plenty of other interests in life, but sometimes I feel like its not "okay" to want that companionship and occassionally feel frustrated when things don't work out the way I had hoped, like its some sort of weakness. I think that is just human nature for most people to want someone in their life, and it doesn't make you some sort of desperate marriage monster :-)

Yes, I do get extremely annoyed when people say this to me and I have vented here about it several times. I want love in my life and not the same kind of love I get from my family and friends and I hate for people to act like there is something wrong with this.
Bump them!
Hello Katortott!
I, too, am a one date wonder. Actually, your dating adventures sound a good portion like mine..are we dating the same men? Lol.
It is discouraging to think that you cannot voice the “love wants” in your life b/c you may seem needy or a “desperate marriage monster.” I think the general reaction for most people when hearing about your (or my) dating woes is to either reassure us we will not die alone and love will come along or tell us how strong we are without men. I try not to fault these people b/c they don’t know what to say to make me feel better. They don’t realize just listening and keeping my margarita glass full is a good start.
The older I get the harder this single thing gets…. The pressure to marry or settle down starts coming at you from all angles… But the thing, for me, is that I personally don’t want to settle – I have come this far without attaching myself long term to some yahoo, why stop now? The nights get lonely, the weddings are hard, and don’t even start me on the baby showers…. But from what I have dealt with dating wise (with one exception) I would rather curl up with an extra pillow and count my blessings as I fall asleep then sacrifice my singleness, self-esteem, or closet space. But again, that is just me.
God Bless ya!
Can I ask why you are back in Atlanta and why you are considering moving back to Chicago after having just moved away from there? And which one is "home"?
Just curious cause I have "moving" options right now and I'm trying to decide what to do. Thanks!
Atlanta is home, I grew up here and except for going to college in Alabama, had never left. In fall of 2005, I decided I wanted a change and moved to Chicago, I'd never been there before and didn't know anyone but figured as bored/unhappy as I was, any change was a good change. It worked out well, made great friends and I loved the city but decided to move home this past January. I love Atlanta but miss the big city feel of Chicago, I'm committed to being here until March so I have some time to decide what I feel like doing but with each passing month I feel like I'm leaning towards Chicago, I just miss the place, its rare to feel "at home" somewhere totally new right away but that is how I felt as soon as I moved there :-)
I'm just annoyed with the whole "process" of dating at the moment, mostly the guys that seem genuinely interested at the end of a date, say they would love to do something again or excitedly ask for my phone number and then just vanish. It would be one thing if it was just once in a while, I could chalk it up to the guy just being flaky or something but it really is consistent, if only having one date was the new hot trend I would be smokin' right now! ;-)
I had a Match date on Thursday that I literally forced myself to go on, not because of the guy, but just because I was so burnt out with the series of one date wonders that I figured I should just take a break from all of it and hit the gym and watch TV and eat some lowfat ice cream. I reasoned I should go though because it would just be a drink (maybe two) and then I could go home to my sanctuary (i.e. apartment). To my surprise I totally click with the guy, the interest was mutual and then that small glimmer of hope arises. Anyways, if he doesn't call in the next day or two I'm going to banish him to Land of Long Lost Men with the rest of my dates :-)
My friends in Chicago have said that I should write a humorous book about my single life because my luck has been so bad. It is the stuff of single woman legend. I'm an aspiring writer and Lord knows I have plenty of material so I may get crackin on it! ;-) It was to the point where I was sending out a monthly email to my friends, "The Great Date Update" filled with my latest adventures, all humorous of course and filled with vanishing men. Believe me, I see dating as a humorous experience as much as I can! :-)