His Dad (The Cop)... Is he right or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
His Dad (The Cop)... Is he right or not?
4
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 12:00am
We have been friends for a while then soon after my Boyfriend (B.F.) and I confessed our feelings for each other, he began attending College. His Dad is convinced that I am a distraction to my B.F. and that he's not doing 100% well in school because of me. My B.F. feels the opposite way and thinks that he is doing what he needs to do. He told me that he calls me only after he is done w/ all school work. I found out recently that this is not always true!
Now, I probably see my guy about twice a week the most as opposed to before where we used to hang out almost every day. We are doing this because we both agreed that his Education is important right now. I in no way want to cause him to flunk especially since I am already finished with College myself but what am I to do? His Dad wants us to get to the point where we barely contact each other and that is very very tough for 2 people that are in Love w/ each other. My B.F. feels that cutting off all communication w/ me will be more of a distraction to him and I just don't know what to do. I feel caught in the middle. What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 9:05am
Sounds like you're both adults. The decision needs to be made between the two of you. Dad may have a say in the grades (if he's paying for school) but he doesn't have a say in who his son dates. If your boyfirend makes sure the grades are good, I bet dad won't have a problem with the dating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 9:21am
It's tough to have a relationship when one person is in school and the other is not. Your school/work schedules are different, you may have to give up spending a few weekends away from each other if he has big exams on Mondays, he can usually stay up later than you, etc. I have a feeling that Dad is paying a pretty penny for his son's education, and doesn't want to see him blow it. My advice would actually be to get to know the Dad. The more comfortable he is with you, the more comfortable he'll be with you and your son. Dad is probably speaking from experience when he says women are a distraction (which they are - any guy will back me up on that). Right now he just sees you as another girl wasting his son's time. Put a face on this girl (i.e. you!) and maybe his perspective will change...
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 10:19am

You are both adults, and as adults, you decide who you date- not his dad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 12:15pm
Actually, my B.F. is going to school for free and that's why his dad is nervous. His dad doesn't want to see his son miss out on this opportunity. But the frustrating thing is that my B.F. still lives w/his parents and his Dad is threatening to cut off communication w/ me and my boyfriend (I don't see how. But you guys are right, when it comes down to it, this is between me and my B.F. He is the one who needs to decide whether he can handle us and school. Thanks Guys!