Hmmm, suddenly he's even more appealing

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Hmmm, suddenly he's even more appealing
5
Sun, 06-29-2014 - 12:32pm

This guy recently started taking dance lessons at my school--actually I had seen him for a while at a partcular swing dance but hadn't really talked to him then, but there is also a kind of dive bar near me but that has good bands.  We ran into him a couple of times there and danced with him and once I was there with only one friend so he came over and talked to us.  I always found him to be very nice.  He's not attractive but yet for some reason I was not put off by that.  He's from England and still has the nice accent.  He's kind of quiet in class but nice when you get him talking.  So last night we were at the swing dance and I asked him how he happened to come to the US and he said that he came here for college.  He had an uncle here who suggested that his parents should send him here for college and he never left.  I found out he went to a very prestigious college and in fact has a PH.D.  Apparently he started investing in real estate when he was young and now he owns a bunch of buildings, including a restaurant and an antique mart.  Now one thing I like is that when we were waiting for class, one of the guys asked him what he did for work and he just said "I'm a property manager," which sounds like he manages other people's property, not his own, so I like the fact that he's modest instead of bragging, like "I own a bunch of buildings."  So I was joking with my friends that after I found out that info he became much more interesting, and one of my friends said we would have to share him--I could have him for half the week and she could have him the other half.  lol  I am actually more excited about the fact that he's highly intelligent than the money because I like smart men.  But since he hasn't asked either one of us out, it's kind of a moot point until then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 07-02-2014 - 11:08am

Thank you for the compliment.  That pic reminds me of Joe Perry of Aerosmith--by the way, they live locally to where I do and I have run into one of the guys in a restaurant and in a book store--they just go out like normal people and no one really bothers them.  Now I agree that everybody has their own taste in what they like.  For ex, I like guys with a full head of hair but I also think it can be very sexy if a guy has a shaved head.  What I do not like is when a guy is going bald on top and keeps the halo of hair around the side like a monk.  In that case it should be very short or it looks dumb.  But I told that to my best friend and she doesn't like the shaved head look at all--of course it has to be on the right guy.

I saw the English guy last night.  There happened to be an imbalance of partners in this class--3 men and 7 women so we kept having to change partners.  Of course he made a beeline for me first so my friend was whispering to me "I think he is flirting with you."  lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Wed, 07-02-2014 - 8:10am

Hey Musiclover thanx for replying, and so nicely too! (not always the case as far as myself is concerned on this board haha).

Well what can I say? It all lies in the eye of the beholder.. IF he *does* it for you, NO MATTER if attractive or not in general sense, if you feel drawn to him, if there's any kind of chemistry based on WHATEVER, be it intelligence or looks or both, or something completely different – like an accent for example haha - then you go girl! And 10 years older is in my opinion no problem at all – im 43 and can very well imagine being with a (my type good looking :)) 53 years old! That other, well lets say *non-prospect*, the 20 years older short one, is of course a no way no how, no matter how smart of a scientist he is..

I can only say that for me personally, I've always been *hooked on looks* , all my life, it just doesn’t work for me otherwise. A man has to be my type attractive – and we are absolutely not talking about 30 y. o. black haired male models with six packs and waxed chests – for me to even THINK or CARE for the fact IF he is smart or not.. Attached is an example of what I mean by *my type attractive*.. it’s a very recent picture -  can you believe this man is going to be 51 very soon?

 . I digress .. anyway .. why don’t you just mention an upcoming dance event somewhere to him, in a way that he gets the idea what you are actually trying to say, wink wink :) ?

You sure seem like one of the nicest posters here on the board, this is the feeling I get every time I read your posts.. and i think you sure deserve a bit (or alot?)  of men-related luck at long last.

Take care

Rocklady

Attachment: 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 07-01-2014 - 11:21am

I don't know if I would ask him out directly, like on an actual date, but I'm sure if I mentioned that I was going to a dance or going to be at a certain club it would encourage him.  I already mentioned to him about some free concerts in our area that he didn't know about.

The looks thing is weird and I can't explain it.  My 2nd DH was definitely not good looking and it took him a while to get a date with me but we also had a very exciting sex life.  I don't know what the attraction was--maybe there is something mysterious about chemistry and attraction.  There's another guy in my dance class who I am not at all interested in but we have a lot in common too.  this guy was a scientist, very smart, he also plays piano like me and obviously he knows how to dance and I know he likes me but I am totally not interested.  Maybe it's an age thing too--he's about 20 yrs older than me, which is just way too old.  Plus I'm short and this guy is even shorter than me.  Now I don't know how old English guy is but I'd bet he's at least 10 yrs older than me.  I have to admit the accent sucks me in.  I love the way he says "daaance" and he says things are "lovely" and all that stuff.  lol  And he's not fat or bald.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Tue, 07-01-2014 - 5:40am

Hi Musiclover, i wish you ALL the success in the world with this Englishman!! Since you dont - as you say yourself - freeze in your move astounded by his gorgeousness every time you see him, haha - and therefore are not quite as *blocked* inside when approaching him, i would think at least - would it be immaginabe, would it be an option for you to .. try and *initiate* some sort of *something* with him yourself??

As for intelligence being sexy - haha, IF it goes along with great looks that *I* am into - then yes hahaha! Otherwise he can take his intelligence and go spread it elsewhere :)! (an ugly, short , bald, fat man can be smarter than Einstein - i still wouldnt touch him with a 2 metres long stick hahaha!). TO EACH THEIR OWN!!

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 06-29-2014 - 1:42pm
Smart is so sexy. The guy I've had the most intense chemistry with was highly intelligent, but honestly downright ugly! (This was in college and he still had a lot of acne problems.) We couldn't keep our hands off each other. Money never really impresses me either. I always worry that a guy will value his money more than me.