hmmmmm ANY ADVICE PLZ?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
hmmmmm ANY ADVICE PLZ?!
6
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:40pm
HEYY everyone. i would be grateful for any advice on this.. ok so in a few days im meeting up with an 'old friend' of mine. we have history 2 a degree. i agreed to meet him i think mainly(or only) because im SO bored right nw and lonely i guess:(! so anyway, the problem is this, i do kind of want 2 c him, would b nice and i have already agreed, however everytime we used to meet, it was orientated around 1 thing and 1 thing only. we dnt talk 2 much n just 'mess around' really. which is fun yes, but i dont want to 'be with him' that way, i dont really know wt i want..hes not my type as such, v gd looking man just not 4 me.. But the problem is i know if i see him we will end up back there again.. should i meet up with him or not????! thanx, Layxxxxx
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 6:14pm

If you don't want to end up messing around with him, then don't go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 10:26pm

Hey Lataia.
Reading your post was a little confusing by-way-of contradictions. You've already stated what you don't want to happen or the possibility of it, so why are you considering moving forward? More specifically, why are you already conceding to the possibility of pass actions repeating themselves? If you don't want it to happen, then decide and take it from there. Albet, not seeing him (if you can't control yourself) or seeing him with the clear (self) understanding of just seeing him and that's all! Basically, set your boundaries! If he ask, tell him what you want. Based on your post its for you to see him and not see all of him. Communicate! If you feel uncomfortable doing it face-to-face, have the conversation over the phone, but have it nonetheless. BTW, I wondering, did he just call out of the blue?

Good luck
GG25

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 5:00am
Thanks for your posts, its very true, my main problem only exists because i dont know what i want and i want everything my way, ahhh! im so difficult! To answer your question, yes he did just contact me out of the blue. I didnt meet up with him in the end, but i thinki have really annoyed him by getting his hopes up, and in the past i let him down quite alot. I basically just want a bit of fun and company with someone i think, and it just so happened that he came along again, even though hes not particularly right for me. I thinkif i decide to meet up with him sometime next week, it should be in public but then again that seems pointless, cause if i cant see it going anywhere(and dont really want it to), is there even any point in meeting up as if it is going somewhere else???...i dont know, im a lost cause im in two minds about everything!lol. But thanks for your helpxLayx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 9:55pm

Your not difficult, your just having a battle between mind and lust. There I said it! lol! Hey don't think that isn't human. The reason that I asked you about if he called out of the blue? He wanted some of you and I don't mean your intellect. His intentions were clear. I think the battle exist because you know this as well and wondering if you can still go into the situation with this knowledge. Believe it or not, you are at a good place right now. Its called the storm of change. Before, and I don't know for sure, you probably went into the situation with a different mind set and eyes. (he'll be different, this can work out between us, blah, blah, blah) But now, that you have had that time with self, you can no longer fool yourself into thinking the situation is one way, when it is clearly another. Its like knowing something whole heartedly, for example 1+1=2, and then trying to go back and pretend like you don't know the answer to that equation. Its impossible! You are already in the know! I figure somewhere down the line you decided to take time our for you. If this is true, don't give that up! As my mom says, "this too shall pass." I can't commend you enough for being in this place of choice, really its a good thing. I hope you realize that you must be changing, maturing, and starting to really look and see things for what they are, and asking yourself, "is this what I want in my life" and to do that is divine. Some people never get there, they walk through life totally blinded from something so small...choice! If no one has yet to tell you, You go girl! So again, your not being difficult you are just in a process of change. As you may be able to tell I have been there myself. It seems as if as soon as we get on this path our old male "friends" pick up our scent and start their chase. Put you don't have to out run them, just stop, meet them where they're at, and tell them where not going the same direction because you wants and my needs are not equal. And oh yeah, have a good day! Girl go out and do your thing, whether it be dancing, knitting, painting etc, have fun and you will bump into who you want to be with. Don't let him cloud your space because if you do, no one else will be able to get in.

Take care and let me know how it turns out. We women must always be in each other's corner.
GG25

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 8:58am
i love you, lol.Thank you xxxxxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 3:59pm
Lol! Take care girl!
GG25
PS I am starting to check my ivillage board regurlary so I am here.