hmmmmm ANY ADVICE PLZ?!
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hmmmmm ANY ADVICE PLZ?!
| Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:40pm |
HEYY everyone. i would be grateful for any advice on this.. ok so in a few days im meeting up with an 'old friend' of mine. we have history 2 a degree. i agreed to meet him i think mainly(or only) because im SO bored right nw and lonely i guess:(! so anyway, the problem is this, i do kind of want 2 c him, would b nice and i have already agreed, however everytime we used to meet, it was orientated around 1 thing and 1 thing only. we dnt talk 2 much n just 'mess around' really. which is fun yes, but i dont want to 'be with him' that way, i dont really know wt i want..hes not my type as such, v gd looking man just not 4 me.. But the problem is i know if i see him we will end up back there again.. should i meet up with him or not????! thanx, Layxxxxx

If you don't want to end up messing around with him, then don't go.
Hey Lataia.
Reading your post was a little confusing by-way-of contradictions. You've already stated what you don't want to happen or the possibility of it, so why are you considering moving forward? More specifically, why are you already conceding to the possibility of pass actions repeating themselves? If you don't want it to happen, then decide and take it from there. Albet, not seeing him (if you can't control yourself) or seeing him with the clear (self) understanding of just seeing him and that's all! Basically, set your boundaries! If he ask, tell him what you want. Based on your post its for you to see him and not see all of him. Communicate! If you feel uncomfortable doing it face-to-face, have the conversation over the phone, but have it nonetheless. BTW, I wondering, did he just call out of the blue?
Good luck
GG25
Your not difficult, your just having a battle between mind and lust. There I said it! lol! Hey don't think that isn't human. The reason that I asked you about if he called out of the blue? He wanted some of you and I don't mean your intellect. His intentions were clear. I think the battle exist because you know this as well and wondering if you can still go into the situation with this knowledge. Believe it or not, you are at a good place right now. Its called the storm of change. Before, and I don't know for sure, you probably went into the situation with a different mind set and eyes. (he'll be different, this can work out between us, blah, blah, blah) But now, that you have had that time with self, you can no longer fool yourself into thinking the situation is one way, when it is clearly another. Its like knowing something whole heartedly, for example 1+1=2, and then trying to go back and pretend like you don't know the answer to that equation. Its impossible! You are already in the know! I figure somewhere down the line you decided to take time our for you. If this is true, don't give that up! As my mom says, "this too shall pass." I can't commend you enough for being in this place of choice, really its a good thing. I hope you realize that you must be changing, maturing, and starting to really look and see things for what they are, and asking yourself, "is this what I want in my life" and to do that is divine. Some people never get there, they walk through life totally blinded from something so small...choice! If no one has yet to tell you, You go girl! So again, your not being difficult you are just in a process of change. As you may be able to tell I have been there myself. It seems as if as soon as we get on this path our old male "friends" pick up our scent and start their chase. Put you don't have to out run them, just stop, meet them where they're at, and tell them where not going the same direction because you wants and my needs are not equal. And oh yeah, have a good day! Girl go out and do your thing, whether it be dancing, knitting, painting etc, have fun and you will bump into who you want to be with. Don't let him cloud your space because if you do, no one else will be able to get in.
Take care and let me know how it turns out. We women must always be in each other's corner.
GG25
GG25
PS I am starting to check my ivillage board regurlary so I am here.