Hold a good thought for me--went back online

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Hold a good thought for me--went back online
17
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 8:48am

After a break of nearly a year, yep, I've gone back to OLD as of today. Wish me luck.

When I searched this morning, I did actually see a couple of guys that had possibilities, but of course, who knows?? And of course, I saw all the grizzled, pot-bellied shirtless men standing next to their Porches.

You might ask, "Why now?" Well, for one thing, I'm lonely. For another, when I look back on the last few years, the only dates I've gotten were from men I met online. 

For now, I will remain cautiously hopeful. 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 9:06am

Good Luck

I have been online now for about three years and I have had some very interesting dates. Some good and some not so good.I also have not had a bite t nor a date or nothin since last Sept. so although I stay on the free sites it doesnt appear positive. I dont really write to anyone though and I check the sites here and there but no one really sparks my interest and I guess its the other way around also..(lol)

I have actually gotten some notes from a local site I am on but I just dont have the energy or faith or whatever to respond. I am just plain old worn out and tired from it all and jaded and cynical. I guess I have given up and I also  hate dating with a passion.

So now that I have totally been a downer atleast you are brave and strong enough to go back online..and hey you never know..

Take Care

 

 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 9:18am

Kudos for putting yourself out there and good luck! 

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 9:33am

I think the only way I am able to go back online is because I took a year off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

Florida;

I dont have time to take off (lol) as the aging process is def. a bummer when it comes to dating. Its pure stark reality that at 58 its very a hard to get dates let alone find a relationship. I dont care what anyone says its the God's honest truth...

I think OLD Is good but i also think that one has to go out there and do other things.. Lately I have been doing alot  more and going out alone and meeting new people and I am not feeling so bad about being alone. Yes it sucks and I want someone but I cant do anything about it except do what I am doing..

Also; I am on the free sites and it wouldnt matter if I was on for three days or three years or three centuries.. If its meant to be it will be unless one sits there on the site all day and writes and makes it a job to look for someone. It could happen but it takes work. For me I dont want to  put the work in so I just stay on and if someone passes by and sees something they like in me then okay , If not nothing I will do or can do about it..

JMHO

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 10:18am

I am also 58. But for me, I was becoming miserable online, and felt that even if I "missed an opportunity" that it was better for my mental health to take a break. I also don't think that if you make it into a job that you will necessarily get results. It seems like you should, I know. 

And I agree, one can't rely solely on OLD. I do get "out there" and do things. I think it's just as hard to meet someone "out there" as it is through OLD, personally.

But the fact remains that I did meet men that I liked enough to go on dates with through OLD. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 11:20am

Well good luck & I hope that you get some positive results.  I'm not at the point yet where I can go back on a paid site.  I'm still on a free one & I look around every so often but since I don't have the initiative to write anyone first, I know I'm not ready for the paid one--however, it always seemed that the paid one had more new members because it's probably like me--the people on the free one just stay on there forever because they aren't paying so they don't have as much incentive to do anything, but that doesn't explain why they get so few new members.  I am pretty busy lately.  I figure maybe I'll  rejoin in the winter when it's more boring.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 11:35am
Good luck to you. The only way I've had dates in the past ten years was from online (except for one guy, but I still suspect a friend was the one texting...yes texting...when he asked). I think online, most guys know that they are expected to meet eventually. It's finding decent guys who are in the same age range and also are interested that's the hard part. I don't think I could do it again. It's just too discouraging.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 8:21pm

So, I was really bored and decided to peruse the match profiles just for fun.  First, I'm irritated that they won't let you look at them anymore unless you're signed in.  I'll probably start getting emails from them again now, just because I signed in to look at pictures.  Although, that's probably good because that means that if I ever did decide to make my profile active again, I wouldn't have to worry about random parents searching for me again (yes, that's happened).  Only the single ones who are also on match (or the ones who create a username and really shoudn't) would be able to find me.  There were quite a few more men who came up in my search results now than did a year ago.  Last time I searched, I had something like 35 matches.  This time, there were 90.  I'm wondering if there was a setting wrong last time or something.  The default this time was set to within 5 miles, which isn't far.  I even excluded men with kids and still had 90 (when I included guys with kids, there were about 110).  I didn't read any profiles, because the last time I checked, they could see you read them when you clicked and I didn't want that to happen.  (Maybe someone can tell me if that's still true).  For the most part, though, the guys looked decently attractive and there was only one guy I recognized as being on there for a long time.  It's encouraging, because at least I know there are men out there.  Of course, if I read their profiles they may turn out to be jerk-wads, but I'd rather stick to thinking positive!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 11:55pm

Is it you who limited the search to 5 miles or them?  I know that you used to be able to read the profiles--I don't get why they stopped you from being able to do that because of course looks are important but it's reading the profile and realizing that I like that too that would make me pay to join again, not just seeing some good looking men.  I hate to tell you this but if I put in a search for 25 miles in my age group (50's) I get about 800 men.  Seriously!  It's a problem because it takes so long to go through the profiles even when I X out the ones I don't want.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 09-09-2012 - 9:30am
I didn't put anything in at first. The default was set at 5 miles until I changed it. I think I changed it to 15 because beyond that I'd be driving through the city to get to Kansas, and it'd be at least a half hour drive. I set my age range at 27-40 and only limited the education (some college+) and smoking, and I even included occasional smokers which I have never done. And yep, I got 90 matches. Oh, and I eliminated separated guys.

I could put in basic search requirements, and when the pictures would appear, so would a pop up asking me to log in. I couldn't get rid of it. I could click to read profiles once I did sign in, but last I remember there was a "who's viewed me" feature and I would have popped up on that, and I didn't want that given my profile is very old and I'm not going to make it viewable.

I'd love to have 800 matches. That would be a problem if take!!

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