Holiday traditions for singles

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Holiday traditions for singles
10
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 7:07am

I know the holidays can be an especially tough time for singles, especially if this is your first Christmas single. But I wondered how many of you have developed new traditions that you look forward to that make the holiday actually fun?

I realized that I have several holiday traditions in place now, and the holidays have actually become a good time for me. I'm not terribly close to my family, so I have other activities I enjoy. I do get together with my family on Christmas day, but that's about it. Otherwise, I have two different groups over (one is this Friday) at some point before Christmas. I love to entertain, so it's fun for me. There's also a one-man Christmas comedy that is performed every year in my town (based on a David Sedaris story) and I'm going to that again with a friend. There's a multi-professional holiday party I go to. My best friend's brithday is on the 10th, and we always do something. My father's birthday is Dec. 27 and I have my parents over. A former coworker visits her mother here every year, and we get togther several times. I have a group of neighbors over for a dinner.

It's not that I set out to make these things happen--they just evolved over time, and I'm very grateful I have these things to look forward to. The holidays used to be excruciating for me. Now, if I only had a date for New Years Eve! I know  a lot of people hate NYE, but I like it. I don't even really care about going out, but I do like to do something, but usually I don't. One of my favorite NYE was spent with a male friend (from college) who came to visit and we drove to a quaint historic town about an hour away, had dinner at a low-key restaurant then took a buggy ride around the town. We came back in time to see the ball drop at my house and that was it. I'd like to establish a NYE tradition. Perhaps a dinner party? 

What are some things you all do over the holiday?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 8:42am

Most of the years my sis always has invited over family and friends on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and we just celebrate it like that.. We also ride around in the car and look at all of the Christmas decorations and lights on the people's houses.. Some times on Christmas Eve we attend the church service..Some years I go into the city because as everyone knows NYC is spectacular at this time of year with the tree in Rockefeller center and the ice skaters..

This year my mom  is sick..She is in hospital with a mild heart attack and pneumonia but she is recovering.. Heck she is 89 and we have no idea how this is going to turn out.. so sis says she is n ot celebrating anything this year.. My mom might not be home on that day so its going to be challenging to be happy and celebrating..

Anyway;; I do have a chance to either go to a friends house and that is about it for now.. I am waiting to get invited to my son and his gfriend but that  hasnt happened yet.. but I am not concerned as God will provide something as he always does and always has..

It doesnt really phase me anymore not to have anything to do on a holiday.. The day will pass and all will be well hopefully..

 

Avatar for cfk_3
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Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 12:51pm
Sorry to hear about your mother, Free. I hope she recovers, soon.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 1:23pm

I love David Sedaris. I have all of his books! That sounds like so much fun.

This holiday has been one of the toughest for me, in recent memory. I'm back to being the only single sibling/child again, no kids. I turned 40 recently. Half of my family forgot and has yet to realize it.  Ordinarily, I wouldn't care but 40 is kind of a milestone plus, I put a lot of effort into their b-days so yes, I'm having a pity-party for myself.  I didn't want or expect gifts, but to have simply acknowledged it would have been nice.  Two friends did take me out to lunch so that lessens the blow, somewhat ;]

There used to be a group of friends who'd get together several times a month (& every major holiday) and it's completely disbanded. A couple have moved, a couple have gotten married and there was one divorce. The singletons left among us are guys and they just don't reach out like the girls did . . . or maybe they don't care. I don't know. I only knew that I was tired of being the wrangler and now we aren't even in contact anymore. It's a mystery to me.

I need to venture out of my bubble and either reconnect with some peeps I've allowed to fall between the cracks or establish some new, closer friendships. I have a few close friends, but they are either out of state or are married with young children so get-togethers are few and far between.

Sorry for the depressing reply! I'm not in the holiday spirit yet but I'm hopeful it will kick in!  I try to remind myself that I'm more fortunate than some and should appreciate the things/family/friends I do have, while I still have them. 

I appreciate the fact that you make the most of your singledom and not only that, but come here to share your insights/experiences with us.  It's comforting to know that there are others who have similar struggles, yet manage to make the very best of their situations (& live quite happily). 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 4:34pm

I guess I have had more traditional holidays since I have kids.  Luckily my ex & i never had disagreements over christmas cause he would have the kids on Christmas eve (tradition started by his parents) and I would have them Christmas day.  The last couple of years, my ex's DB has invited me over to their house for Xmas eve along with the rest of ex's family. It sounds weird but I get along with them all and I was looking forwad to doing it again this year.  So last night, DBIL calls me & says they are having it this Sunday instead, right at the time I am going to another party at my friend's house.  I don't understand why they changed the time since it seemed that everyone was available on Xmas eve.  So now I'll be home alone on Xmas eve cause my son will probably go to his dad's.  I find that kind of annoying.  I do know that I feel much better than I did even a couple of years ago, right after my 2nd divorce cause I just felt kind of lonely & nothing to do.  Now it won't matter that much if I have one night alone as I've made more friends & done a lot more social things so it won't be a big deal.  However, NYE still is a problem.  I've noticed a lot of meetup groups have things to do on NYE that would be fun, but it's like although I know some people from the single parent's meetup group that is the one I like the most, I really would call them more acquaintances than friends.  I would still feel uncomfortable going to something like a dress up party in a restaurant or bar by myself--even if I had a group of people to go with it would be better, but I don't want to show up & find everyone else has dates or just feel like a hanger-on in a group of people, so that is still a bummer.

I do notice though that more of the meetup groups have things for single people to do on holidays.  The single parents group had 2 Thanksgiving dinners at people's homes--one was for families w/ young kids and one was for adults and maybe older kids.  I thought that was nice cause not everyone has family around or wants to be with family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 8:56pm

Free - I am very sorry that your mother is ill - sending you positive thoughts.

As far as the holidays, I feel lucky because I have an extended family that could keep me busy every holiday of the year.  There's a dinner Sunday night, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and probably the day after as well.  I *know* I am fortunate!  There are always non-family guests who don't have family around, and that makes it even more fun IMO.

I am also lucky that a friend of mine has a big New Year's Eve party at her house.  It's totally casual, just music, food, and chatting, and there had to be >50 people last year.  So it's an easy place to go, and forget that you don't have a date, and have a good time anyway. You can go when you want, leave when you want, and everyone is friendly.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 12-13-2012 - 10:46am

That's what I'd like to be doing on NYE.  Many years ago one of my friends had a NYE party at her house--she's an excellent cook so there was good food and she moved the furniture out of the main room so we could dance.  My house isn't good for entertaining.  I thought generally of having a party some time and I realized it would be very heavily skewed toward women.  lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Sun, 12-16-2012 - 7:18pm

The last few years I spend it with my bf. He doesn't have much family. This year we're going to a holiday buffet. It's usually fun to go to a nice buffet b/c you're reminded there are many families like yours who don't always have the traditional home party. If I didn't have my bf, I would probably get together with another single friend. In years past, a friend's family always opened their doors to all the single friends. I have a small family and my brother let his wife run the show so they always spend the time with her family who sadly don't have the sensitivity and courtesy to include his only sister. I don't focus on the negatives. this year the wife's family went out of town so they go to Vegas. I had an early get together with my brother, his wife, and my little nephew to celibrate my birthday. I think that will be my new tradition. In addition, will be going to a nice buffet dinner with my bf.  Make my own joys that will be my attitude about these things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Mon, 12-17-2012 - 9:02am

Hey White Satin, pardon my curiosity, so you are still with your bf then? Reunited or is it a new one?

ROCK NOW ROCK THE NIGHT!

Rocklady

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Sat, 12-29-2012 - 3:02pm
Free, hope your Mum gets well soon! Cfk, it seems so strange that people do not remember your big 40th! I cannot understand why that should be so difficult to remember, and especially since you are always so good at remembering everyone else. That gets me irritated to think of! Hope they come to their senses soon! I live very close to my parents and my father´s family, so I am lucky. I have spent almost a week at my parents´ house and we have visited both parts of my family. We also visited a childhood friend of mine and her brother was there, we were all neighbours before and it was so nice! I was at work yesterday and today it is great just relaxing alone in my apartment. Tomorrow it´s my parents´ 40th wedding anniversary (!) and we are going out for dinner. And as I have not been invited to any party/dinner on NYE, I am going home with them to celebrate. Visiting their neighbours across the road around midnight, I really like those people and am looking forward to that. However, I totally understand what you mean, Cfk. I am just about the only single left (except one of my cousins, who is soon 29) and the "Single Blues" is hitting me heavily so many times during the year.... Especially since my friends do not have time for me anymore, with some few very good exceptions. Next year I have to continue my "quest" of going out by myself if needed and do things I have never dated before, as it seems to help me meeting new people and enjoy things I like (as concerts).
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 1:56pm

I just saw this Ruby.  I don't know why newer posts aren't floating back up to the top anymore.  Maybe it's a setting that I need to go in and fix, myself.

Thanks so much for the sentiment.  It still hasn't been acknowledged.  I'm having visions of being conveniently unavailable when their next B-days roll around, but I know myself and that will never happen.  I'll be there with a smile on my face and a gift in hand, as always.   

Did you and your family have a good time celebrating your parents 40th Anniversary?  We celebrated my parents 50th the Summer before last.  They are still so cute together . . . still hold hands and sneak smooches when they think nobody is noticing ;]

Glad to hear you enjoyed visiting with friends and family over the holiday.  Did you have fun with your parents neighbors on NYE?

I'm glad the holiday season is over.  I'm hoping for some big changes in 2013 - some good ones!  i truly hope that's the case for everyone!