How are you?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
How are you?
31
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 11:05am

How many times do we get asked this question a day?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 11:57am

Seriously, on the outside, everything appears fine. I'm out nearly everyday going to every happy hour, the movies, dancing, picnics, film festivals, dinners, rented movie nights, you name it, any activity that will keep me out of the house and from being alone. Laughing, gabbing, drinking, dancing and being silly with friends.

On the inside, I'm right on the border between being really contended and kinda miserable. I'm still heartbroken over my breakup that is almost 2 months old with a guy I was absolutely crazy about and of whom seemed to be about me until the last month, when he pulled away completely and for no reason. I've been trying to get back out there and date but no other guy seems as fun, as witty as charming or adorable as the one I desire and left. I wake up every morning reminding myself why I ended it as at this point I can barely remember nor care, I just want him back and go to bed every night trying to forget how good it felt when he used to drape his arm over me and we fell asleep together. And then all day long I have to push the sorry, wishful thoughts of us getting back to together out of my head all while I try not to notice what seems like endless happy, in-love couples all over the city, holding hands together, laughing together and probably going back to the cozy homes to have hot sex together, while I gather my things and head home to my now messy apartment and two hungry cats and the mocking reminders that there are no messages, no texts, no calls and no one missing me or awaiting my arrival.

I spend enormous amounts of time reminding myself why I'm worthwhile, beautiful and desirable as there isn't anyone else to do that and spoil myself silly with gifts and shopping sprees to keep my spirits up. I join every social group I can find and go to every event I can squeeze in regardless of money or time just so long as I'm not sitting at home watching TV and feeling sorry for myself. Meanwhile, I often ponder how one can be as active and social as I have been and still unable to meet anyone who really wants to stay and enjoy me and welcome me into their life. And I fight tears over that one constantly.

Otherwise, I'm fine. How are you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 12:20pm

Funny you should ask, because I just watched Before Sunset on Saturday night (an amazing movie, if anyone has seen it) and the main character (a French woman) says she misses the general good mood of Americans, even if it's BS a good deal of the time and mentions that everyone always says how great they are...

Anyway, ehh...so-so. I've spent the past...year or so?...being more miserable than I can remember being since, well, pretty much ever, so I suppose there's nowhere to go but up. I'm finally starting to get over the guy I was dating last summer and into the fall (it's a long story and not as pathetic as it sounds), I've moved into an apartment that I actually like (that's not a good hour from everything without a car) with a roommate I like (and don't dread her coming home and ::gasp!!:: finding dishes in the sink...I now realize how important roommate compatibility is), and my spirits are generally much higher. BUT I'm still not all that happy with my job, have no idea what I'm actually looking to do, and am frustrated beyond belief that I haven't had a decent date in...I'm not even going to say, honestly. :) Summer always helps me, I feel like...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 12:29pm

Oh, I LOVE that movie--and its predecessor, Before Sunrise.

But to answer the question ;-), I'm ok. Work is good and busy and I'm doing lots of fun things this summer and just got back from a fantastic trip to Turkey. But dealing with the flakes I've been meeting in the dating world has been tough. There are a couple bright spots on that horizon though (someone I just met on the 4th and had a 2nd date with last night, and a sort of ex who lives in CA who I'm going to visit the weekend after next) so maybe my luck is changing ;-).

Sheri

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 12:58pm

I think that some exes just take longer and more effort to get over.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:01pm

Roommates can make or break your life.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:03pm

Good luck with the guys, Sheri.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:07pm

No, I hear ya on being exhausted. I went to a happy hour last Tuesday, had one beer and was fighting sleep right there at the bar. Ever since, if I'm sitting still, I can barely keep my eyes open, I am so exhuasted lately. I thikn I've overextended myself so much that I'm losing sleep. This weekend I gladly slept til 3pm, then dragged myself out of bed. I've been popping multivitamins too.

Then my other guy friend, who is in a serious relationship with a live-in GF says to me that I'm out all the time and always on the go. I said, well you'd be too if you were single with nothing bu time and space between working hours to fill and loneliness and despair trying to creep in the door. You'd be running a lot more too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:18pm

Ugh, I know...the thing is, my last one was really such a genuinely nice person, but we were just NOT compatible as roommates. I'm not a disgustingly messy person, but I'm not anally clean either, which she definitely was. I remember loving when she wasn't home and getting so anxious when she'd come back. I spent the vast majority of my time in my room and I just that's the way life would be for me from now on, but things are so much better now. I'm hardly ever in my room, I spend much more time actually talking to my roommate, and I don't have a persistent state of anxiety knowing that I haven't scrubbed the bathroom when she expects me to. We also just had issues with stupid little things; I'm the type that if I'm doing dishes and hers are in the sink with mine, I'll do them all! I did that for a month or so, while she'd literally leave a single knife in the sink if she thought I'd been the one to use it. Give me a break.

Anyway, finding someone you become casual friends with, and can cohabitate with seems like the best plan so far...I really can't believe how much it's improved my quality of life!

As for dating, yeah...I don't mind being single, but it's just a fun process, getting excited, dressed up, going out...even if it doesn't last more than a couple dates, I still got out there and met someone new.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:20pm

I had trouble with tiredness at one point in my life where more sleep did not help. I finally had a checkup and found out that my thyroid was low. I also was put on antidepressants which helped to a certain extent but it was mainly a thyroid thingy.

Good luck,
Mark

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:21pm

Yep, being single allows for more "other" stuff.

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