How can I become more approachable?
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| Sat, 06-25-2005 - 10:30pm |
Hi! I'm single... mid 20s.. living in a big city in Canada...
I've been single since 3rd year university and have dated here and there but nothing completely meaningful. A month ago I got dumped by a guy who I was seeing for 2 months (decided to never call me again).
I know that I am attractive.. hot whatever...but I have the TOUGHEST time meeting guys. I mean, I can walk down the street night or day and have guys turn there heads, make comments, etc etc (and I don't dress 'trashy' or slutty) about how beautiful I am but when it comes to meeting guys it seems like I come across as really unapproachable or something or that guys are really chicken or something!
First off.. I know.. you will never meet your soulmate at a bar..but I do go to bars esp on weekends..with the girls and the only guys that come up to us are really obnoxious or really drunk. I see "nice" guys there but I am a bit timid to approach them (because I believe a girl should be chased BUT then again look at who is single!)
I am comfortable being single but sometimes I get lonely. Right now I am waiting to meet a friend to go to a party where everyone is coupled out (i am only 24 btw). I want to meet a nice guy to hang out with...do stuff I like with..go to musems.. watch movies etc etc.. but I can't seem to attract that kind?
I've tried to get involved with volunteering sports and the like..but the same thing there..guys check me out but none appraoch. .i'm starting to think i am angry looking or scary or ugly.. .which i know im not..
any suggestions would be greatly appreciated
xo
kate
PS ... please dont suggest online dating.. so not going to happen

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Kate,
I think the problem is not your personality, your approach, or your looks. I think that guys assume the worst-you already have a boyfriend or worse you are out of thier league. I would just take a deep breath and find a way of approaching men that catch your eye. For example, at the cocktail party approach a guy that has a hal full glass(make sure yours is half full too) go to up to him and offer to refill his glass. This has worked for me. However, just be careful in the approach and make sure you definitely want the guy! HAHAHA
I think the most important thing is a smile.
Re: making yourself more approachable-
I bought the book "Superflirt" by Tracey Cox about a year ago and it really helped me. Its all about body language. It helped me realize some of the signals I inadvertantly send to people when I'm really just nervous may be mis-read as "not interested." I re-read parts of this book before I go to any party, date, or even a job interview!
I bought that book last year too and completely forgot I had it.
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