how to deal with the ex moving on...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
how to deal with the ex moving on...
3
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 10:19am
what is wrong with me...i broke up with my ex over a year ago...moved to another city and cut off communication...when i heard from a mutual friend last week that he had moved in with his girlfriend i was so jealous....i have not found anyone significant yet and i think that is what i was jealous about...like he found someone first.

is this a normal feeling...he was my first love..we were together over 6 years and i needed to get away because of his immature behavior, lack of committment and drug use...sounds like a great guy ...right?

maybe i am just lonely and only remembering the good times....when i saw him at xmas he told me that this new girl would never measure up to me and he still thought we would end up together..i told him that i did not think so...

he has only been dating her about four months...but he lost his job, lost his apt and had to move in with his parents...so i think he is using her ...like he uses everyone...so why do i care....

our lives are so different....he dropped out of college and holds a minimum wage job and that is probably all he will ever do....i am a college graduate with a great job in a wonderful city and lots of friends with my same interests....so sad because at one time we were on the same path...

i don't like how it made me feel when i heard the news...does this mean i am not "over him" or is it something else.....thanks for any advice or input any of you have.

loves

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 3:24pm
i still get jealous when i hear that my ex has moved on and we still live in the same town, i think its mostly when i'm lonely that it hurts the most but when i get into thinking about him i just remeber why i'm not with him and that i'm better off without him
Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 11:32am
I think it's totally normal for the situation to bother you. I don't think it means you're not over him. It's natural to be a little jealous. Personally, I don't want my ex-boyfriend to meet someone new before I do. I think that someone who did so many things wrong and hurt me so much doesn't deserve to find someone else before I do. I'd like to think I'm over him. I know I certainly don't want him back. I just don't think he deserves to have a new relationship and I also don't want to think he can get over me so easily. Perhaps you're feeling a little of the same thing.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 11:25am
Getting over someone is difficult, especially when you have been together that long. Have you ever heard a person who has just had a baby say they miss being pregnant? They were miserable, uncomfortable, and in pain for the last bit, yet they still miss it! Of course, when they see the result- a beautiful baby- they realize that they two don't go together and that the baby is MUCH better than being pregnant.

He was your pain in the uterus- causing pain, sucking the life outta ya! Now, you've gotten rid of him, and part of you only knows your life with him. You need to create your own life that has nothing about him in it. Moving was a great step. I think you'll get over him eventually, it just will take some more time. Maybe date casually- not seriously- and you'll be able to see the great guys that are out there (or have some laughs about the losers!).

Good luck, and keep us posted!