How do I get over an unrequited love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
How do I get over an unrequited love?
2
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 11:16am
A close guy friend whom I was in love with, recently got into a serious relationship with another girl. For the past three years, he had always hinted that he was interested in me, but I never had the guts to confirm my suspicion and I guess I'd always took it for granted that he'd always be interested in me.
I didn't think he was going to be so involved with her, and it crushed me when I was no longer No.1 in his life.
I don't want to waste my time thinking about a guy who's not thinking about me. But, how do I force myself to stop having feelings for him? How do I push him out of my head and my heart, and be able to focus completely on my life? Please advice, if you've been through something similar. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 11:42am
For years I was in love with someone from high school. There were always vibes between us and I know he was shy with girls and I always felt that at some point we'd be together, that he'd always want me. Anyway, he got in touch with me after college and then we met up for dinner one evening, said he'd keep in touch and plan to visit me again and then he disappeared. Then I ran into him years later in our hometown and we chatted, and although I gave me my contact info, I still never heard from him again. I know he liked me a lot during high school and when we first met up after college he said he cared about me a lot and missed me but then, nothing.
I try to remind myself over and over that if he WANTED to get in touch with me he could. He has my number and email. But he's never bothered and that's that. As far as I know he's still single but we're both over 30 now and I'd like to think that at this stage if he really wanted me he'd be a man about it and come and find me but he hasn't.
Sounds like you just have to force yourself to push this guy out of your mind. He may be a friend but now he's someone else's serious boyfriend, and that trumps being your friend.
Read Greg Behrendt's book He's Just Not That Into You. It totally makes sense when it comes to this issue. It helped me a lot with other relationships as well.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 6:43pm

Unfortunately, there isn't a magic pill for falling out of love. However, try looking at this particular situation as, you could have had him had you really wanted him. Ask yourself why you never tried harder. There must be a reason why you didn't. Maybe something deep within told you that it wouldn't work and may even jeopardized your friendship. I think things happen for a reason. Perhaps there is something better waiting just around the corner.