How do I stop the feeling?
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How do I stop the feeling?
| Sun, 07-09-2006 - 11:18pm |
Around Christmas of last year I hooked up with a guy from work. We never became "official" but we went out on dates and fooled around. My opinion of him at work started to interfere with our personal relationship. I felt like he wasn't being honest with me although I had nothing to prove that he wasn't or was for that matter. Finally we had a big fight about stuff at work and our relationship and other things. I was forcing him to look at issues he didn't want to address. He also started spending time with a woman at our work who is quite poisonous and I couldn't trust them together. Which I also called him on. We ended up not talking for months only if we had to about work stuff. A few weeks ago he approached me at work to tell me he was sorry and everything I had said or forced him to talk about I was right and he was sorry. I told him it would take more than I am sorry, that he broke my heart and he would have to help work at repairing it. He said he understood but he missed me and hoped we could spend time together again...
Now a few weeks later I feel like we are literally on the verge of being right where we were before. Part of me wants to be there, I missed the fun and excitement of the relationship...but the other part is afraid to be there...I don't know if I want to go through the stress of it again. Before I always said I had control of the relationship it was supposed to be light fun and casual then it went crashing and I was left broken. I just don't know if I could go through that again. But how do I stop myself from wanting the relationship back that I worked so hard to get over?
Now a few weeks later I feel like we are literally on the verge of being right where we were before. Part of me wants to be there, I missed the fun and excitement of the relationship...but the other part is afraid to be there...I don't know if I want to go through the stress of it again. Before I always said I had control of the relationship it was supposed to be light fun and casual then it went crashing and I was left broken. I just don't know if I could go through that again. But how do I stop myself from wanting the relationship back that I worked so hard to get over?

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