How do you "flirt"?
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How do you "flirt"?
| Wed, 05-28-2008 - 10:32am |
Ok, I seriously can't believe I'm asking this but I'm curious to what people do, and kinda for advice too I guess.-
How do you "flirt"?
(Try to catch someone's attention, might be better said.)
~Rain
How do you "flirt"?
(Try to catch someone's attention, might be better said.)
~Rain
"With One Step At


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Z
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Lol, alright, let's see if I can answer this... I fail at flirting?
I have a playful, quirky personality, but i'm introverted and shy by nature. I'm really working hard on being outgoing in general, so flirting isn't something that I do very often.
&n
So I was watching Dr. Phil of all things and a guy said it best.
1) Eye contact - to establish interest
2) Smile - to give the green light to approach
3) Build a rapport - By either sharing stories of similar interest or show interest in their stories
4) Ask to get together again.... sometimes people are "non-closers" so seal the deal by offering opportunity.
I've tried this successfully and it's worked. My one word of caution is to ONLY try this with someone you're genuinely interested in otherwise you could get a lemon on the line. :-| We don't need more lemons!!
>>3) Build a rapport - By either sharing stories of similar interest or show interest in their stories<<
I think this step is key, and it's what usually works for me. (Eye contact and smiling are givens, I think.) A lot of men don't know what to say at first
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Thank you very much for the advice!
They are very helpful. I know I can do 2 and 3... it's 1 and 4 I think I should work on. Also this is an odd question, but I come off as friendly, like as someone who would be just a friend. Maybe because they aren't interested in being more, but it happens so often that I'm pretty sure it's my body language that is doing it. I'm in no way looking for one night stands or anything of that type, but I don't want to be 'one of the guys', or another girl who's just a friend always. Do you have any suggestions for that?
(Sorry having trouble figuring out how to express it.)
As for trying it on someone I'm not interested in, I'd be to scared to do it, only because I've had two people who I wasn't interested in at all pursue me above and beyond normal. (to the point of desperation in a stalker like fashion) I don't really want to have to deal with that again... ever.
"With One Step At
&n
I agree that 3 is very important! Not just with 'flirting' but with people in general. That type of thinking might be why I keep getting deemed as just a friend though... (Hmmm, I haven't though of that before.)
Anyway, it was your last comment that caught my eye.
"Step #4 is the one I need to work on. I am so not good at being the first to suggest getting together again."
And I have to say I agree completely, though, just even thinking of the concept of suggesting together again first is a step up for me. I'm very shy sometimes. Why do you 'need' to work on it? (and may I ask how, cause I can't think of a way of doing it besides just suggesting it next time such a thing happens, and hoping I'm still alive after.)
"With One Step At
&n
Maybe I don't 'need' to work on it, but it might increase my chances of spending time with an interesting person. :) I tend to let the guy do the asking, and I prefer for the guy to do the asking, but I think it might be worth giving it a shot myself occasionally.
As for the rapport keeping you in the "friend zone": I think the key is showing interest in what the other person has to say without revealing everything about yourself all at once and without becoming his shoulder to cry on. I used to do that a lot -- I'd be the sympathetic ear and let the guy ramble on about every issue in his life after first meeting him. That would lead to what amounted to counseling sessions, not dates. :)
I have since learned to build that rapport on a few
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Z
Well for one you don't sound arrogant, and for two, my friends who are great flirts don't actually know how they do it. Not as an insult to them for I value them greatly, but they don't always think before they act. I have also tried asking them anyway, and the "I dunno" or the "I just am flirty." isn't very helpful.
Shy is the best 'label' for how I am acting at the current moment. In all honestly, most people meeting me consider me quiet but outgoing. I like to smile and I like to get to know people. Whether I like to "Meet" people depends on situation, basically how far outside my comfort zone I am. Don't take that as I don't like to meet people, it is more I'm initially timid per say. So, I don't label as more as I'm describing.
A better example of that is I'm dyslexic. I know besides a few random slips, I don't show it. In fact, I'm a fast reader and an alright writer (still working on pronunciation of things though.) so, alot of people don't even guess to it. But, if I am asked about how I am academically or about how I learn, I have to state it - or should. Not because I can't compensate for it, but because it is the best way to describe how I work, just like shy is the best way to describe how I act. There are very few things I describe myself as that I'm bent on staying as. The only thing I can think of right now is I'm not a doormat and I have no idea why that popped in my head.
Anyway, I still would be happy to learn anything, or listen to things even if I already understand them. I like learning and hearing people's opinions and ideas.
"With One Step At
&n
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