How do you stay off the emotional roller coaster?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
How do you stay off the emotional roller coaster?
22
Thu, 03-28-2013 - 11:09am

So I had my exciting date on Sat., I was on cloud 9 & smiling idiotically for a couple days after--and now I am back to anxiety and uncertainty.  OMG, I haven't dated anyone I liked in so long I forgot what it is like.  Since all the dates I've had since my divorce were guys I didn't really like, I guess the last time I felt this way was when I met my ex in 2000, so that is a long time.  Now objectively I know it's ridiculous to feel this way--it hasn't even been a week & the guy doesn't seem like he is the type who communicates just to chat.  For our first date, he emailed me 3 wks ahead to see if I wanted to go, then I heard nothing for 2 weeks after that so I wasn't even sure he was going to follow through--one wk before, he emailed me again to remind me and then we had more discussion in the couple of days before we actually went.  since this weekend is Easter, I never really expected a date--so how do I get myself to snap out of this mood?  It's almost like having PMS, except I know it's not.  I mean I look at the facts and what I would tell a friend in the same situation.  He sure seemed like he was having a good time, he mentioned seeing me in the future like it was a definite thing (of course we all know that is no guarantee--the typical "I'll call you" and then you never hear from the guy again) and when I emailed him on the day after, he emailed me right back and seemed enthusiastic. 

We belong to the same meetup group for single parents and we were looking at the calendar of future events together.  There is a dance at the end of April that he said he would go to (I had signed up a long time ago) but he hasn't signed up yet, but he signed up for a dinner for next week (that I cant' go to)--but then again, the dinner is a limited no. of people so you have to sign up right away to guarantee your place, while a lot of people could go to the dance.  But I guess I'm a little put off that he didn't ask if I was going to the dinner, yet of course since we're in the same group, he knows these events are visible to me too--yet I'd feel like a stalker signing up right after he did.

Aggh!  Maybe not dating is just easier.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Yes, I wouldn't just assume someone is not going to date others, but I prefer the "don't ask, don't tell" policy.  I don't need to know what the guy is doing in his free time when he's not with me--I'd rather not know, but it was just there plain as day.  So now the roller coaster has come to a stop at the bottom of the hill. :(

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006

OK, that just bites that you had to see that Meetup message. I'm really surprised he would post something like that so publicly, after all, you can sen a private message to people in a Meetup group. Maybe he doesn't know how to use that feature?

Well, I suppose anything could happen next. But I think it's very smart to just let him call you.

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