How the heck do you meet guys anymore?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
How the heck do you meet guys anymore?
3
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 6:56pm
I'm a 26 y/o female. Ive tried everything to meet a guy I would click with.

Joined a winter cabin witha bunch of 20 somethings. nothing

Tried speed dating. The one guy i liked, pretty much is not over his ex or just doesn't like me how i thought he did. so ended after about a month.

I get out in different social groups hoping to meet new people. Nothing for the last 2 years.

bars/clubs, yes I am social and meet people but that is the last place I'd figure I'd meet someone cool.

It is impossible? i feel like i repel guys. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.

its not like I'm trying to force myself or look desperate to guys. I have a really busy/full life but make time for a guy I like.

Just so damn fustrated and annoyed.

Dating is not easy and I'm not sure where to meet anyone now? I guess I dont play the game that well...since the gusy i've liked seem to disappear after awhile. its not like i'm talking marriage by date 3. Not anywhere close to it but I guess Ive done things people would say i shouldn't with dating.

SOmeone help. Where are the guys that don't get spooked all the damn time? Or have the decency to just tell me they aren't interested. ARGH.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 10:51pm
I wish I could offer you some advice. I don't have any, though. You've tried a lot of things, and if those aren't working, I'm bone dry on suggestions. You aren't by chance a teacher, are you? I am convinced that elementary teaching is the worst job to have as a single person.

Just hang in there, and don't give up on what you've been doing. We tell A LOT of people here to do those exact same things, so you're bound to run into someone eventually, right??



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 10:40pm
Uh oh, I am studying to be an elementary school teacher...care to share why it's harder to meet a guy in this profession? I truly hope that's not the case, otherwise I'm in for a majorly disappointing life, huh? I am fairly newly single--my ex and I broke up mid-July. I've actually been doing really well, expect for the fact that I am trying to meet new prospects and am having little luck. I can meet guys just fine, but I'm usually drunk when I do it, and even though numbers are exchanged, nobody calls. The one guy that does share mutual interest with me (a guy from work) has a lot of issues with his ex--they have been off and on for a while now, they shared an apartment and their lease is not up for months, they can't seem to make a clean break even though this girl is a complete bitch and no good (according to our mutual friends). It's the fact that they have such a history together and this whole apartment mess that is making it hard for them to walk away. I know that he is interested in me, but he doesn't want to disrespect this girl, which I understand--he needs to completely end one thing before he starts another. I know that the fact that none of his family lives in the state makes him wary to leave her--she has been his family for years, even though it hasn't been happy or healthy for a long time. Last night he and I had a drink (okay, a few drinks) after work, I basically wore my heart on my sleeve and he had to leave early because he agreed to see her that night...it killed me but I know he's trying to remain civil with her and to keep a friendship. He told me he really wants to see where this can go with me and he is excited for the time that everything gets figured out--he just wants enough time to pass between his break up and us starting something. I find that pretty admirable, but I am the world's most impatient person when it comes to something I want, and I want him! My biggest fear is that he is going to turn around and say he wants to try and work things out with her. Even though their relationship has been sh*t for so long, I understand what it's like to have comfort with someone, and it always seems easier to stay and be unhappy then try and find true happiness alone. I've been through this, and breakups, no matter how crappy the relationship, hurt. If anyone has any advice on how to handle this situation a bit better, I'd really appreciate it.

Jen

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 8:16am
On your first question, it's harder as an elementary teacher b/c most el teachers are women. Most of them are also already married, so that means no one to go out with to find the single men. My best advice is to hang on to your college friends as best you can, because you'll need them. Not that married women can't be good friends, but they just aren't the same. I'd also suggest trying to get involved with something at an upper level- like coaching middle or high school. That's where the men teach!

As for the other situation, I'd say to cut things off from this guy for now. He is doing the noble thing with wanting to wait until she's completely gone, but in the meantime you're being lead on. He knows he's got you on a string. Cut it and maybe he'll realize you're not going to wait forever.