how to i get taken seriously now ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
how to i get taken seriously now ??
49
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 3:44pm

In this past year, I had a boyfriend...for a month. I am the type of girl that hates to miss out on things, and when I had a boyfriend, I lost friendships with alot of guy friends, said no to fun things I wish I could've done, and what not because i was tied down.

But I'm getting sick of having one-night stands, or sex with a guy I wish I could have more with. I don't have sex with random people, most are my friends or mutal ones. That said, I have had sex with about 10 people.

I am ready to be in a relationship,therefore, I've stopped having "random" sex. One guy "friend" is upset at me for not putting out, because I've had sex with 2 of his friends...months ago. I'm worried I can't be taken seriously.

I don't know what to do to demand the respect I really want not. Has anyone been in my situation? or have advice or something for me?




Edited 6/6/2007 3:45 pm ET by summer623
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 3:35pm

>>I'm sorry, but I still fail to see any correlation between sex and respect. Maybe SOME men disrespect women who sleep around and call them whores and such; men who grew up in the 1950s and think all women should be pregnant and barefoot. But I know for a fact that MOST YOUNG MEN TODAY, guys in their late teens, twenties, early thirties, absolutely DO NOT CARE AT ALL about how many men a woman has slept with.

It's 2007 for f*** sake! Sex does NOT help you gain or lose respect in any way, shape or form! If it takes the use or lack of use of your genitals to gain or lose respect, then there's a whole lot more wrong with you than that you "put out too easily."<<

if you fail to see the correlation, then you're turning a blind eye or being ignorant.
women/girls are not sex objects and are not for the use of pleasure.

you can speak for yourself, but some guys DO care because it shows a girls morality and character.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 3:43pm

no, some really are my friends. we do normal friend things, grab lunch, hang out. the ones that really are friends have never demanded anything again. if something happens, so be it. but other than that, its all in the past.

and i have tremendous respect for what you did with your friend. it shows you have respect and self-control:) i think the majority of guys would have had their way with your friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 4:24pm

Well . . .I started out in the Marine corps, and then spent many years in male dominated fields. Far to much time around my fellow breed. (-:Yes, "many" would have. The truth is most would not have. That's kind of the point, there are a lot of good people out there.

I could not tell you what my perfect date would look like, hair color, height, weight, job . . .I don't think that way. I look at her heart and her smarts . ..etc. I look for quality of soul. Find me that, and all the rest works out just fine, be it a casual relationship, friend or the real deal. You have to see the quality, in your case that they don't "act" like a good man, but rather they live like one . .know what I mean? Run from the pathetic of the world and gravitate to quality human beings. (-: I think you will sort this stuff out just fine. (-: Read a lot of what these ladies say on this board . . . I almost moved on when I read some the first night because of all the people in there 20's and 30's . . .who wants some creepy 40 something hanging around, right? (-: But I have to say there are some smart cookies on this board, and you will get some very good advise in general. Not just about men or dating, but about life and attitudes in general. I know I have been dooly impressed. (-: Nice balance to my own younger days. (-: I have even found that advice from 30 something's reminds me I aint quite over the hill just yet. (-: They have given me a lot of great advice and ideas. I think the next woman I get involved with will thank many of them. (-: If a world traveled old fart like me can learn from them, you can to. (-:

Stay cool you

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 6:28pm

<>

I guess you young guys are opposed to paying for prostitutes? And not opposed to picking up an STD?

Let's hope you get the latter. Oh I forgot - in this "highly sexualized culture" you're not getting any. LOL

And also that statement you made was cr*p. I dated a younger man who I met when he was 23 (now only 26). Yes, he did want sex straight away and no we didn't have it straight away, and yes he was frustrated. After dating for nearly 3 years, the comment he made to me was that he was glad I made him wait. Why? Because if I had done it straight away he would have wondered did I do that with every guy I dated/met and no man wants to date on any permanent level a "slut".

But, I guess in your fantasy world women just give it up, you don't need to ever make a committment to anyone and no one needs to be a father. We can run rampant with single-mothers.

Also you show your age with the drivel you write that is based on the zero life experience you have.

I thought women had it tough before and now young girls have to deal with these types of morons.

Beach

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 6:34pm

Redonculous -

Are you hot? Do you have a nice bod? Do you participate in a cool sport, like surfing? Are you fun to be around?

If none of the above, you're probably going to have a tough time unless you become a pot dealer.

That's the best advice I can give you.

Beach

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 7:34pm
Sorry . . moment of weakness. (-:



Edited 6/14/2007 9:18 am ET by elwood1960
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 10:30am


'Also you show your age with the drivel you write that is based on the zero life experience you have'.

'I agree' would be the understantement of the year. Brilliantly put. Drivel based on zero life experience - sums up all each and everyone of his posts todate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 3:23pm

Elwood -

What was your moment of weakness?

Beach

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 3:25pm

Thank you for the agreement.

His diatribes got on my nerves.

Beach

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 4:44pm
Expressed a thought in my own special way. (-: I am not always so nice. (((-: Decided DNFTT was a better choice and pulled it. (-: