How long should you wait.....

Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
How long should you wait.....
5
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 12:01pm
to have sex?? Especially in these days, where one-night stands and fwb's are all around us, how long should you wait if you want to be in a more serious relationship???

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2005
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 1:06pm

I think that varies for every person. Wait as long as you need to so that you are comfortable and confident in your choice.

Trina

-*~*- Trina -*~*-

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 2:02pm
I would say it also varies from person to person, but as a rule, the longer the better. With the last guy I dated, I was ready to have sex within the first six weeks, but he was okay with waiting closer to two months. We ended up taking the plunging five weeks and it kinda disolved from there. I was okay with it, but he wasn't. So I would suggest bringing up the topic with your guy and see where he stands as well because there are two people in one relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2005
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 5:50pm
honey... that seems to be a very personal question that we all will have different answers and comments and opinions to based soley on our souls experience. You should do what is right for you and your mate and your comfort zone as well as your own personal boundaries. Don't go breaking your boundaries if they are not in agreement with his, especially if he is forcing the sex issue. If you are not ready and you stand your ground and he respects that and waits till you are then YOU GOT A WINNER. if he gets angry with you and seeks another "Y" some other place, than he is not a keeper. Go with your heart. GOD BLESS and good luck.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 6:22pm

For me it seems like the longer my preceeding dry spell, the less time I wait.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 6:24pm

I've determined that for me, waiting about 2 months is a good idea, in situations where I'm looking for a serious LTR. That's because I tend to get emotionally attached once I have sex with someone, and I suspend good judgment, so even if the guy turns out to be a jerk (or just not right for me), it's hard for me to end it. So by waiting, I reduce the chances that I will stay involved with someone who's not right for me.

A good example: I recently broke things off with someone because he was unreliable and flaky about contacting me (reliability and consistency are important to me). We'd been out on about 8-10 dates, but hadn't yet slept together and it was much easier to break things off because of that. If we had been sleeping together, I'm sure I would have rationalized and made excuses for his behavior.

Also, it's important to me that the relationship be exclusive before we sleep together, and even if someone *says* we're exclusive, if we've only gone out a few times, I have no idea of how honest he is. At least if we've been dating regularly for 2 months, I'll have a better idea of how consistent his words and actions are. That's not to say that someone can't fool you into thinking they are honest, but a lot of times, I have found out less than 2 months into it that they aren't, and I was very glad I hadn't slept with them!

Sheri




Edited 2/23/2006 6:38 pm ET by northwestwanderer