how many?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
how many?
3
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 5:58pm

Hi

This a question for all the single girls. I am a guy who is wondering how many times is too much to ask a girl out. Beacuse there are different types of girls out there are some that like to play hard to get and some that just aren't interested. If I ask a girl out and she says no or comes up with an excuse, then I always move to next. But I've been wondering that maybe she was just playing hard to get. So hypothetically if a guy were to ask you out and then lost interest after the first attempt, how would you feel. Also if he continued to ask you out how would you feel. We are going to assume that this hypothetical guy is cute.

Any answers are welcome. negative or positve doesn't matter.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
In reply to: dir35
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 6:17pm
all depends on how long u two know each other! if u just met and ask for a date in that first instance a woman who knows her worth would not say an immediate yes. you've got to show u are worth going out with to some degree. if u are really taken into this woman and not just after a booty call then i don't think u would just want to just quit! women still enjoy the thrill of being chased u know but if after 2 more attempts she says no then move along buddy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
In reply to: dir35
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 6:19pm

It would depend on how he proceeded to re-ask me out.
For instance, I was recently asked out by someone I have absolutely no interest in. I said no and have since run into him several times, always feeling awkward. While I don't think I have any attraction to him, I would be flattered if he re-asked me or made an attempt to get to know me better and perhaps "prove himself."

A lot of times I am instantly impressed by unknown facts about a guy that I previously found unattractive- ie: his taste in music or his knowledge of film trivia or of course his sense of humour. So if someone I said no to still tried to pursue me and show me a bit more about himself, revealing his personality and sense of humour, then I may become more interested and start thinking about saying yes. Does that make sense?

Not that I condone stalking or obsessive behaviour- but I think a bit of work to get a girl's attention is most of the time endearing. If she makes it very, very clear that she's not interested, then give up. But show her she's worth a bit of effort :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
In reply to: dir35
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 6:34pm
I will probably say that twice or three times will be enough. The reason I say this is because, if it's somebody who's not interested in you at all, you asking them out too much will be considered as simply annoyance and probably harrasment. On the other hand, if you had the feeling that the lady was playing a little hard to get, you can try the second time. I personally think that if a girl is interested in you, you don't have to ask her gazillion times before she says yes. On the same note, I have no problem accepting a date with a guy on the first time. Yeah, there are times that I will need time just to figure things out and there are those times that I probably know all what I can know at that moment and have a mutual feeling with this guy. It really depends on how long you've known the person. Mind you, being a female who has never ask a guy out, I can imagine why a guy won't want to ask a girl out the second time because I know why I haven't ask a guy out. Granted maybe the second time she will say yes, she could also say no. Nobody like rejection...be it man or woman. I guess all what I am saying is that, if it's a stranger you just had connection with, you probably will stick with one and if she says no, then you move on or probably when you bump into each other again, you can muster courage and give it a second shot. If it's somebody you know, then if she say no, hell, you can ask her why she said no and that will help you to decide either to go for a second shot or not. If you can't find out why she said no, study their body language. At times, body language can help in your next decision. Hope I helped.